My Journey to Burnout and Back: A One Year Update

My Journey to Burnout and Back: A One Year Update

retreat bridge shot

It was nearly one year ago that I first began to share about my experience with burnout.

Last January, I shared very candidly about the circumstances and lifestyle choices I had made that had pushed me to a place of spiritual, mental and physical breakdown. It was undoubtedly one of the hardest times of my life, and yet I have learned so much and come so far since that time, that a friend encouraged me to share what my journey out of burnout has looked like.

A Timeline

This is sort of an bird’s eye view of the journey that I’ve been on:

  • August 2009– Birth of third child
  • Fall 2009– Began a season of challenging life circumstances, and did not allow myself to rest and recover from birth, but instead pushed myself too hard to keep going, started writing a new book, and landed myself in the hospital with a serious infection
  • Winter 2009/10– More family health issues (mostly my husband), lost several family members to cancer, travelling for work.
  • Spring 2010– Frantically trying to complete my 2nd book, prepare to launch a new website, attend another work conference, and move into a new home.
  • Summer 2010– Launched second website, moved, tried to keep up with gardening and preserving, all the while beginning to experience early signs of burnout and depression.
  • Fall 2010– Realized that I was really becoming undone, started admitting that I needed help, made a plan to sell my new website, but still pushing myself as we began the new homeschool year and I kept up with both businesses.
  • Early Winter 2010– Finalized details for selling website, began to make plans for rest and recuperation in the New Year.
  • Winter 2011– Website officially sold in early January. Started Wellness series here on Keeper of the Home. Began reading as much as I could on depression, adrenal fatigue and spiritual depression. Started to allow myself to rest, began taking supplements and eating specifically to heal my body, and significantly cut back my schedule, both work and personal. Took a 2 day personal retreat.
  • Spring 2011– Starting to feel that the fog is truly lifting. Energy is returning, after 2 months spent doing very little but resting. The spring sunshine helps a lot. I continue to try to give myself more grace to rest and recover, and undertake a one-week physical cleanse to rejuvenate my body. Prepare to go to the Philippines with Compassion International.
  • Summer 2011Travel to the Philippines (an amazing trip), return home to discover that my friend who was battling cancer is now terminal, and also that I am newly pregnant with #4. Spend the summer trying to rest, doing the bare minimum in the home, grieving and spending time with our friend and especially her family after she passes in July. Realize that although I am better in so many ways, I still don’t have a lot of extra reserves for taxing circumstances.
  • Fall 2011– Energy is returning with the pregnancy. Spend some time working for our family music school, in addition to my business, but this time my husband and I make a plan for extra childcare and household help, and I postpone starting homeschool until my work load lightens up. Perhaps I’m learning a little. 🙂

Caring for Myself- a Novel Idea That Actually Works

This brings me to these past couple of months, during which I have continued to find new ways to keep a more manageable schedule and do things that keep my body and spirit healthy.

I signed up with the Hello Mornings challenge, to give myself the added inspiration to get up early for exercise and regular time with the Lord. This was one of the best things I did this fall. I had to force myself to go to bed earlier as much as I could (always a good thing).

The physical exercise was so refreshing and has helped me to remain mostly comfortable and energetic as I pass the 30 week mark in this pregnancy. The regular time with God each morning was simply healing and life-giving. I needed it so much more than I knew.

I’ve been careful to ensure that I am getting enough irons, minerals, cod liver oil (fatty acids and Vit A and D), among other things throughout the pregnancy, like eating enough protein and trying to drink plenty of water. I also did a 2-month sugar-free diet (along with a host of other food restrictions) to help heal my gut and reduce Candida yeast, which I know has been helpful. I don’t succeed every day at doing/eating everything I should, but being as consistent as I am able to really does make a noticeable difference.

blue sky through trees

Balancing Blogging with Life

Learning to balance blogging work with life has also been an important part of my journey. Here are a few things that I have given up:

  • Most social media. I am still on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, but my participation level is very, very minimal (5 minutes per day or less, and sometimes not at all).
  • Writing as often. I have brought on more writers over this past year, and this has been such a good decision. They add so much amazing knowledge and unique perspectives, and writing only twice per week (for KOTH- I do some other writing as well) is manageable and enjoyable for me.
  • Doing it all myself. I have increasingly been hiring work out, like design or technical work, and have added a fabulous Virtual Assistant, Lindsey, to the KOTH team.
  • Book writing. I took a year and a half off of writing anything beyond my blog and a few online articles for other sites. No new book projects, until just this past month when I took on two small projects that I felt I was finally ready for.
  • Working during the day. My goal is to not get on my computer before noon (except for checking in with my Hello Mornings group and putting up the newest post on Facebook). Other than that, I aim to spend my mornings exercising, doing devotions, serving breakfast, and then homeschooling. This has been immensely helpful. Instead, I work on Tuesday afternoons (with a mother’s helper), in the evenings after the children are in bed, and just recently on Fridays when my husband is able to be home with the children, and occasionally pop on to check email in the afternoons. I try to avoid doing much on the weekends as well, and no more crazy late nights or early mornings.

One ebook that was truly encouraging to me last spring was Simple Blogging, which really helped me to release myself from the need to be this “perfect” blogger who did it all. I’m not that blogger and I don’t want to be. Letting go of feelings of obligation and high expectations on myself has made such a difference in allowing me to blog more peacefully.

Has All of This Really Made a Difference?

In a word, yes.

I wouldn’t say that I am back to the ideal place that I would like to be, healthwise. I am probably back to functioning at about a 90% capacity, but compared to those times a year ago when it was more like 20-40%, that is a vast improvement.

I still occasionally struggle with mild depression. I still sometimes push myself too hard and begin to feel that burnt out feeling. I can tell when my stress levels are too high, because I begin to sleep more poorly, find myself irritable and emotional, and get eczema on my hands. I’m more aware of how I am doing, and am quicker to take steps to make things better.

There’s a reason this post is about my journey, not simply my recovery. It is truly a journey, one that I am definitely still on.

I have learned so much through this experience:

  • I really, honestly cannot do it all. Not even close.
  • I need to be far more dependent on the Lord than I ever realized before.
  • It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
  • It is not a sign of weakness to need to rest.
  • When we pick up extra things, something else has to give. The equation doesn’t work if we constantly add, add, add and never subtract.
  • Caring for my physical body and my emotional health is not selfish. It enables me to care for my family from a place of wholeness and strength.
  • Life is meant to be enjoyed, something I still struggle with. But it is a very good and God-given thing to have fun, to laugh, to take delight in people and experiences and the things that He has given us.
  • Our bodies are intricately and wonderfully made. The Lord often uses our health to speak to us, if we’re willing to listen.
  • No amount of personal productivity, or success in meeting my own goals, or even doing “good” things for others, is worth damaging my relationships with God or my family for. Ever.

Thank you for letting me share my story, both last year and now. I am thankful and humbled to be in community, not only with the women in my “real” life who have loved me so well, but also with all of you. So many of you shared your stories and struggles so vulnerably as well, and it is a privilege to walk this journey with you.

Have you ever walked through a season of burnout? What have you learned about keeping yourself healthy, and what actions do you take when you feel yourself becoming unbalanced?

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  1. Stephanie, I relate to this a little too well (although, thankfully, in the past tense) and can’t say how much I appreciate you talking about it with such candor and the wisdom that comes with perspective.

    I, too, struggle with the over-achieving and the constant urge to take on new projects (good things, and they all look like they’d be so FUN!–but that’s a big danger for me!) Your particulars about how you’re managing your time are so helpful.

    Thanks so much for sharing.

  2. What an incredibly helpful post. I am so grateful for your humility in sharing. This is what I love most about your site. You speak truth in love with humility. I believe the Lord is well pleased with you (not because of your efforts, but because you point to Him). I needed to hear this today.

  3. I’m glad that you were able to recognize your limitations and try to “reschedule” your life around those, and that by slowly down you were able to help your own mental well-being, your body, and your family. I’m sorry for all of the illnesses around you and for the death of your friend. That must still be tough today. But I’m hopeful for your future. You recognize that you’re still not where you want or need to be, and that you’re still on your journey.

    (You probably want to change the last date to Fall 2011)

  4. Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing this journey. I too have been on a similar journey the last couple of years. Although my journey is through co-depency and the habbit of pouring all of me into other people and their struggles. This too has resulted in burn out for me and anxiety.

    I’ve been meeting with a wonderful group of women each week who are going through this journey with me, and we are so glad to look back on our lives and see the progress. I know when I start getting thoughts about “why isn’t anyone caring for me?” that means that I’m not caring for myslef and need to step back and re-asses where I’m investing my energy. I now know I will never be perfect (perfect doesn’t exist on this side of eden). I still have a long journey to get to a place where I value myself as much as I do others, but I’m working towards it and making the best decision that I can, and that is good enough. Thanks for making this site a place where we can all be real and share honestly!

  5. Your honesty and willingness to share all you’ve learned and are learning on this journey is poignant and humbling. You teach us much and I appreciate your example. I just had #2 and the feeling that I can do it all is tempting but I know from prior experience that’s a lie that Satan tells us to keep us from drawing closer to God or relying on our fellow brothers & sisters. Thank you for the reminder to be mindful of these things.

  6. I am so right there with you. Actually, I am in your Winter 2009 right now. I love your blog and have been a reader for quite awhile now. Thank you for giving me hope.

  7. Stephanie,
    You cannot, cannot do it all. You will sacrifice the love and care your husband and children deserve. I read so many young mothers’ blogs and wonder when they actually get to live their lives rather than just write about them. I am closing on 70 and have raised 6 children and attempted to “do it all”. God in His wisdom, knowing my wisdom was lacking, shut me down three times. Once I was bedridden for four months (aged 35), Then again, for 8 weeks, at aged 58 and finally for 14 months with an undiagnosed breathing problem two years ago. Being a high achiever ( and getting my sense of worth from that) made me very vulnerable.
    God made you a human being not a human doing. My advise…Cut some more out of you life, enjoy your kids and that new baby coming. Give your husband a wife that is peaceful and happy.
    God loves you, for you, not for what you do or don’t do.

  8. I really appreciate your sharing. When you are the type of woman who works hard and “seems” to be able to do it all, people come to expect that you’ll just be able to handle the endless to do list, regardless of what may be going on in your life. And frankly, sometimes I’m my worst enemy–adding to the list of expectations myself. Along with homeschooling, cooking from scratch for a family with food allergies, and regular holiday responsibilities (cause it’s momma who “makes” all the Christmas stuff happen), I’m also a part-time worship leader at my church, which involves A LOT in December. Earlier this week, two of our kids came down with colds and I really started to feel weary, discouraged, anxious…it is a spiritual battle as well as a physical one. I spent yesterday morning in the Psalms, reading all the verses about the Lord being our strength. And He does give strength, even more so in our weakness, one day at a time.

  9. This is an excellent post and one that I needed to read today! Thank you very much for sharing! I, too, find it hard to relax and not take on too much. I feel pushed to continually take on more projects and more responsibilities, constantly working with every minute. In the past couple of years, I have begun to cut back to only those things I enjoy doing but the push to take on more is always there. I still start new things, only to wish I had not at a later date.

    I can let things go now, if they are not working for me or I just don’t have the time/energy for them. I blog when I need a rest from the labour or have something truly helpful to share.

    I dropped the “Great Time Sink” (also called Facebook) a year ago and never looked back. Really, I have not missed it. Friends and family can always send me an email or read and comment on the blog.

    My time iwth the Lord sometimes suffers and that is something I must get control of. Thank you for the inspiration!

    My husband and myself have both learned the fallacy of working our time away at a job to earn more money to buy more material things. Most “things” are not worth working for.

  10. I think what becomes most discouraging to me is how little it seems I’m doing, yet I feel burned out. For the first time in almost 2 years I feel like I’m really getting things done during the week. (Laundry is done, meals actually get made, the house isn’t a constant disaster, I’m keeping a regular post schedule on my blog etc.) but between a miscarriage last spring, recovery and now another pregnancy I feel perpetually exhausted. I find myself reevaluating my activities and losing interest in some of them. I don’t know if this attitude is healthy or if it’s a symptom of low grade depression. When I look at your schedule I could see how anyone could become burned out. When I look at mine (I only have one child so far and I’m in the third trimester with my third pregnancy), I wonder what is wrong with me.
    Congratulations on doing what it takes to start your recovery. It can be a slow process but bravo for sharing your struggles. I know it will be helpful to many others.

    1. Laundry lady- I used to feel the same way- well I still sometimes do- look at others and compare how I feel vs. how they feel. My advice is DON’T DO IT!!! Accept you for who you are. Accept that this is where God has you, and accept that you are doing your best. I don’t have a schedule like Stephanie does either, but I have problems with depression, anxiety, high expectations, and yes, I’ve had burnout. Miscarriage and pregnancy alone are taxing. I am currently pregnant for the 4th time, I had one miscarriage (so I have two kids plus the new baby due late this winter). From what you said, it DOES NOT sound like you are “doing little”, it sounds like you are doing a lot. It takes a lot of time and effort to do what you are doing, and it also takes time and energy and effort to go through miscarriage, and also a pregnancy.

      It could very well be that you are dealing with low grade depression, I know I deal with that myself. But I also don’t want you to compare yourself to others and think that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. I hope you are able to find some things to help.

  11. Stephanie, Thank You for sharing your story. I feel like I can relate in so many ways and you’ve given me some great insight on ways I need to make my life better. I think sometimes we lose track of what’s truly important when we are rushing around trying to be super woman!

  12. Thank you so much for this post. I have been struggling for quite some time with burnout, but it is so difficult to dig my way out of it. It was good to read your perspective on it, and your strategy on dealing with it. Something for me to think about. Thanks again! 🙂

  13. Stephanie, thanks so much for being honest. It’s a breath of fresh air. I went through something similar this past summer – but now I realize what I can and can’t do. It’s helped immensely.
    I know you’ll be 100% before long. 😉 Blessings in your pregnancy.
    Thank you for your blog.
    I have the book that you mentioned but haven’t read it yet….and now, I have to do so! 🙂

  14. I’m so glad to hear how you’re doing and that you’re mostly doing better. I didn’t realize how much grief and loss you’ve been dealing with. That’s rough! I’m blessed that my struggles are in different areas than loss. I find that having alone time is really valuable to me and I need to have it. Thanks for being so open and honest about your depression and struggles.

  15. Stephanie, You are doing a great service to so many through your website! I thank you and look forward to your posts – even when it is a guest. Sometimes it leads me to learn more or opens a page to a new blog. As for burnout, fatigue, etc., raising little ones is so taxing on our whole being. It is a tunnel that mothers of youngs ones must travel through. A wise mentor of mine reminded me that there is an end to sleepless nights, diapers, etc. I commend you for resting and taking care of yourself. It is so hard as a mother to realize we can’t do it all. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy! Thanks for being an inspiration to all!

  16. Thank you for sharing openly Stephanie. Such helpful insight. I too experienced burnout after my third child was born. I was always sick with something for over a year– strep throat three times, viral meningitis, the flu multiple times. My body could not recover from an illness and something else would set in. It was when I became pregnant again with my fourth (my baby was born 5 days after your Johanna!) that I started taking care of myself and I have had the most healthy three years of my life now. When I think about what has changed, it is stress. I get about the same amount of sleep and eat about the same as I did after baby #3, but I am very cautiious about getting stressed. Stress does me in.

  17. My story is similar in many ways, as you know, although as you know I don’t blog. I do wish I could have some kind of way to write, but its simply not the season of life for me at all. I know that if I added that “one more thing” that I wouldn’t be able to cope anymore.

    I really, really struggle with high expectations of myself. I find this affects me more and more as my responsibilities as a mother grow and change- as the kids age (and need more) and as I add to our family. I have ridiculously high expectations of myself and it leads to anxiety, depression, and feelings of burnout…and if I don’t keep it in check, it keeps going and gets worse. Its been a challenge to recognize what I need to do and DO it. Like you said, its a journey.

    I still feel guilty (working on that) about that my husband hired someone I know my age (single woman) to come over once a week for 2 hours to give me time to do a few things I wanted to do. She looks after the kids for me. I also recently had a friend offer to take my kids overnight to give us some more rest (my 2 1/2 year old is going through a terrible sleep time and screaming at night). But I find it hard to actually accept those things and see them for the blessings they are rather than feel guilty or like I am a failure, or that I shouldn’t be having another baby soon if I need help with the kids I have at times. But the reality is that I wouldn’t feel so guilty if family offered to help (they would but live 6-9 hours away). Lots of my friends let their moms or mother in laws help, and I don’t have that, so why not let an older woman in the church do it when offered.

    The other actions I take are getting outside every single day (and its VERY cold here in winters, like -20 to -40 C in Jan/Feb, and lots of snow). Even if its just a few minutes. I go down to a small creek/waterfall near my house with the kids, and we marvel at all the changes we see there (frogs, minnows, now ice, changing water levels, etc). I play a lot of uplifting music (I love Sovereign Grace ministry music), I try to breathe and let something go when I feel panick, and I try to do “timer tidys” to get my house looking better in just 5 minutes so that I can relax more.

    Thanks so much for sharing all this. I feel more human when others share like this.

  18. Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing so openly. I know that this will help many women have the courage to address their situation. I have experienced health problems all my life…chronic fatigue, lupus symptoms, adrenal fatigue, fibrocystic breast disease, infertility, blessed with 2 sons (but extremely difficult pregnancies), secondary infertility. I have been blessed to keep it under control through natural treatments, nutrition, and exercise. I know when I do not take care of myself, eat bad, don’t exercise, burn the midnight oil, then I crash. Like right now, I have been sitting in the recliner all week, trying to recover/dissolve kidney stones that sent me to the ER and get meds stronger than morphene. Certainly not in my plans during this Christmas season. All my plans have been put on hold. It is as though God said, “It is time to rest, rest in Me”. So I am reevaluating my priorities. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. It has encouraged me. Hugs and prayers.

  19. I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better. Thank you for sharing this testimony of what God has done! I just had my second baby and returned back to work after just 6 weeks. It’s been such a difficult time, and it helps to have these reminders to take care of myself and take time with God.

  20. Stephanie, thank you SO much for writing this! Your transparency and humility reach so many others in your same boat! I feel like we are very similar–in our interests and the tendency to think we can do it all! (I wish I had known about KOTH during my time in Vancouver b/c I would have loved to have met!)

    I needed to read this! Do you think you’d ever want to write a post on some of the supplements you ended up taking? (I know you mentioned some, but I am curious on specifics…and I want to be super healthy right now!)

    Thanks again for sharing your life with others! I pray this new season–with your soon-to-be new baby–with be one of rest!

  21. Many thanks for sharing, Stephanie. I too suffered from quite severe burn out. I was living an incredibly fast-paced life (out pretty much every night), and it was only by taking a few days holiday that I realised that I was bone-numbingly exhausted. I believe I caught myself just in time before I had a nervous breakdown.

    It took me a year and a half to recover – I had to do NOTHING for about 10 months. All I did was go to work, go to church, and see my friends, and speak to a counsellor. No evening activities, no hobbies, nothing. I was bored, but I was rested!

    It’s been two years since I’ve recovered, and even now I have to be careful not to do too much. I find that as the result of burn out my body seems to ‘overreact’ to stress, so I still try to limit what I do in the evenings and weekends. I also continue to work on my wanting to say ‘yes’ to every opportunity that comes my way!

  22. Stephanie how special is it that you let us all experiece a glimse of what you went/are going through! We can all struggle in this area, especially as mothers of youngsters! I am always telling everyone I know, “we can NOT do it all” even though I find myslef trying a lot. Thank you for your humility!

  23. What a great post. I have been in that same spot – the spot of burnout. It required me to take a long hard look at my life, my priorities and where I want to be in the future. What I learned was that I had to make some major life changes in order (that I didn’t necessarily want to do; had to choose to give up “good” things in my life) to move in the direction I wanted to go. I am now 2 months into these major changes and I truly feel so blessed and I am excited to see how God continues to work in my life.

  24. My husband was very burned out when he was working a job that required too many hours. After he quit it took 6 months before he was ready to begin part time work and years before he felt normal again. It’s a journey to get back to where you should be after taxing your body too much.

  25. Thank you for sharing this! I have actually been going through my own season of burnout and am trying to hear from the Lord what I should do to fix it. I appreciate this post greatly and the tips you have given. I have been making some of my own goals and trying to take baby steps… and some giant steps ~smile~ to regroup. Many blessings to you!

  26. Stephanie! Thank you so much for writing this! I really was blown away with the truth you shared in getting to that burnout and what you did about it. I was so inspired that I wrote a post of my own in response! I too have lived in a cycle of burnout for the past 4 years as my husband and my life has been crazy with moving, new jobs, new kids, etc… I am just now learning to say no to many things in order to keep my energy and health. I have some minor health issues that I need to address but most importantly, to stop pushing…Again, thanks for sharing! and I met you at Relevant 🙂

  27. Thank you for your honesty and openness… I have had a similar season of life (minus blogs, family business) but with a chronically ill child instead. Pregnancy #3 was a surprise and she came fall 2009 as well after a move and renovation… I was in survival mode with trying to fight for my middle daughter’s health, care for a newborn and homeschool. Looking back I see how bad things were, but not sure how I could have dine things differently, except of course rely on Him for all my needs…. I’m currently in the third trimester of pregnancy #4 and have a much better outlook on the journey- though there are still days that I need a breather and remind myself what (who) the TRUE priorities are . Thank you for sha

  28. Thanks you so much for sharing with such honesty. I have experienced a similar season, though maybe not quite as intense. It is a terrible feeling when you have nothing left, and yet you feel you must go on. Your journey helps me to see even now some areas I need to continue to work on.

  29. Hey Stephanie, I’m so glad to hear things are on the up and up. It sounds like you’ve made a lot of wise decisions this year. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Bless you, Emma

  30. I, too, am so glad that I took the good morning challenge, even though I don’t check in on the website. I actually look forward to waking at 5am everyday to have about 2 hours of quiet, alone time. It is so good for my soul!

  31. It so encouraging to read others going through this journey. I would say I’m in the midst of a burn out trying to figure what I need to release and start making a commitment of excercising and early morning times with the Lord. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

  32. It is so refreshing to see bloggers be open and honest with things in their life. Successful blogging takes a lot of work. I can completely see how you have been tired (emotionally and physically). I’ve been there where you take on so much and you feel yourself wearing down. Thank you for sharing what you have done to help your body recuperate. It’s always good to see ideas on how to rest and re-energize.

  33. I appreciated your sharing about overcoming burnout. I have recently experienced this personally. I also believe I have adrenal fatigue off and on as well as other health conditions you mentioned. Small world! In my case I was working several jobs which led me to not as much time with the Lord and for just down time of my own. I didn’t begin to drop the jobs but the Lord had two of them end I feel due to my prayers for relief. Due to having the depression in the midst of the burn out I wasn’t thinking straight and found I couldn’t even make the simplest of decisions. I am not out of the woods yet. I am still working through my schedule and trying to tweak it so I can find time with the Lord and for myself. One of my jobs is extremely physical and now I find I have carpal tunnel symptoms and an old SI joint issue is flaring up so I am getting some warning signs here yet find myself not able to decide what to do otherwise for work. I live in a small community where there are not that many jobs. I often times consider doing something with writing. This is where I am at today. Thanks for sharing. I appreciated it knowing others are going through similar and how they have overcome. God bless!

  34. Amazing article! Totally what I needed to read, although I relate I haven’t been through all you had in a year! How did you process the deaths? I lost my dad when I was 15 and now dread cancer and losing loved ones. I understand what you are saying about enjoying life and that’s OK and good, but how do you avoid fear or dread?

    1. It’s hard to say how I processed the deaths. The two family members were not particularly close (not parents or anything) so that was a little bit easier, it just took a bit of time to get over. The loss of my friend I am still working through, often on a weekly basis. In that situation, I just have to let myself grieve it when it comes, and continue to remind myself that God is sovereign and in control, and that somehow (even if I don’t understand) he is working things out for our good and his glory. It’s totally about giving it up to him in faith and trust. I’m not sure how else to do it, really.

      As for avoiding fear or dread, that is something that I do struggle with at times. My husband has also had cancer, and sometimes I get fearful and anxious about losing him or I imagine or dream about scenarios in which I lose other loved ones, like my children. Those moments are really hard and I have to just pray through them and ask the Lord to help me to give my anxieties to him. I can’t dwell on them, I just have to keep giving them up, over and over and over again. It’s such a process. I totally don’t have the answer. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. So hard. Thanks so much for sharing.

      1. Thank you for sharing Stephanie. It’s nice to know that it isn’t just me who gets incredibly fearful and anxious with imagined scenarios of losing my kids or husband. I agree I, we can’t dwell on them and I need to work on truly giving them over to God. Thank you for being so honest. I love your blog and am so grateful to have stumbled on it tonite.

  35. So much of what you have shared I have experienced…I have been through a year of recovery myself and actually, for me, I had to take off as many parameters and my desire to try to fix it and just rest and be for a bit. I don’t know if that makes sense…and the story is long and involved. But basically, thank you for sharing…there is such a relief to know that I am not alone.

  36. Thank you for sharing your journey. Continuing to pray for you, often when I see your posts on Facebook. Glad we got connected through MYM during your blogging trip.

  37. Thank you for sharing what you went through and your journey back out. I have been on a similar journey the past year+, and while my physical health has been getting better, I am still sick often, just not AS sick nor AS often. I’ve learned alot from God, though. About being thankful for my sicknesses. About being content where I am–whether well or whether sick. About rejoicing for each day the Lord allows me. sick or not–rejoice, worship, be content….it has helped so much.

    This time has also allowed me to let go, and trust God for what needs done. My husband has helped so much. I hate to see him doing things that I consider MY work as a wife, but when I am sick, I cannot do certain things, so I thank him and I am grateful for his help. He’s seeing I can’t do it all, too! 😉 (Like yesterday, we had company coming and the house to show today, so I finished up the cleaning and clearing out of stuff we’re doing in order to move/show the house/etc. I told him what I needed to work on after naptime, but he went ahead and did the vacuuming and dishes for me, and then he cooked most of the supper. None of which I expected, but he saw that it would help me to not get too worn down, which sets me over the edge with my health.) 🙂

  38. I recently learned the power of taking care of yourself. After baby#1 I ended up back in the hospital with post pardum pre-eclampsia and anxiety. I struggled to get the blood pressure under control for much longer than the doctors could explain and struggled with the anxiety for over a year. I realized that part of my problem was overload on information. I was reading everything online that I should be doing with my baby and everything that could go wrong, etc. Just had baby#2 and am happy to say I’m doing great. I let my husband give LO a few ounces of formula at night so I could get more rest, napped every day, I only allowed myself a few minutes of online time to check only email and facebook, I carefully guarded what was showing on our tv to be only something that would make me laugh, didn’t watch the depressing news, sat out in the sun, and only worried about what we needed to do with our baby instead of what everyone was saying we should do. I also meal planned so I didn’t have to worry about that among other things. What a difference it has made! Thanks for sharing and good luck on your continued journey. Lo2 is sleeping good praise the lord so I hope to start getting up before the kiddos as I know that will make a great difference!

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