Rejoicing in My Role

Red tulips in field
Image by LaserGuided

Though last week was so busy with my eBook launch and baby steps that I didn't take the time to mention it, our family went to Seattle on Thursday night so that my husband and I could attend a homeschool conference.

In random, stream of consciousness form, here are some thoughts and happenings from the weekend:

1) Thank you all so much for your kind support of my eBook, and for the excitement and encouragment you offered me in regards to it's launch. I was a bit overwhelmed by it (in a good way), and as always, am so privileged to "know" and share with you all. 🙂

2) I had a two-day "date" with my husband at the conference this weekend, and boy, was it fun! This was our third year attending, but this year Grandma offered to stay home with the kids so that we could more fully take in the speakers. What a wonderful time we had together, listening and being challenged and inspired, talking together about what we were hearing, having picnics on the church lawn, philosophizing over our homeschooling ideologies and discussing our goals for our children, plus some fun little dates and treats mixed in. Thanks, Grandma!

3) This is my last week of "Eating from the pantry and freezer", and truthfully, I haven't had time to plan it out yet. We got home in the late afternoon yesterday, only to bring in some coop food that I had purchased while down there, and to head right back out for dinner at my Nana's house an hour away, to visit with my step-Mom (down for the weekend from up North). When I got home, meal planning was not on my horizon. But, I will put something together today and share it with you later.

4) How excited was I to come home and see more green popping up in my garden, and even in the flower pots on my deck! My tomato seedlings thrived while I was gone, and we'll be out to water seedlings later this morning (we had a weekend without rain- in the Vancouver area, that means it must be spring!). Our big task of the day is to plant a garbage can with potatoes… my first attempt. I'll take some pics, as we get it all set up in our lovely "upcycled" garbage can that I grabbed last week from Freecycle.

5) I'm hungry. I better stop blogging and go make some oatmeal! (What did I tell you? Random, stream of consciousness!)

6) But before I do, here's one quick thing that I wanted to mention, as it's been on my mind a lot since Saturday…

Do I rejoice in the role that God has given me in my home? Is it evident? Do others, and especially my children, see that I love being a woman, love caring for them, love serving my husband and love making my home a haven, both for our family and for others?

In a session by Deborah Brown, on training and raising daughters to be homemakers and helpmeets, this question really struck a chord with me. If I want my daughters to grow up embracing the Biblical role of becoming a wife, mother and homemaker someday (because although not every daughter is assured of being married or having children, this is the normative path for women in scripture, and it is what we feel that we ought to be preparing our daughters for), then I need to consider the example I set.

The role that I have now is not the one that I trained for. I spent 13 years in public school, and 4 years in a liberal arts university, preparing to be anything BUT a homemaker (because I was "way too smart to waste myself on just being at home", or so the voices around me worked to convince me). It is still a learning curve for me, balancing housework, cooking, child training, home educating, and serving my husband. I still so often feel overwhelmed and under-equipped for the task at hand.

But regardless of how I feel… what do I communicate? That I revel in the role that God has given me? That there is absolutely no where else I would rather be? That I accept with joy even the mundane parts of my day (the laundry, the toilets, etc.)?

My daughters (and my sons as well) need to see a picture of a woman that is at rest, and even better, rejoicing in her role. They need to know that I love being a wife. Love being a mom. Love caring for my home and showing hospitality. That what God has called me to do is a privilege and NOT a burden.

My goal for today? To choose joy and contentment. To purposefully express to my daughter how very good God's ways are, and how right He was to place me right where I am- in my home!

Have you ever considered the effect of your attitude, words and demeanor on your children, and the messages that are being sent to your daughters in particular? Do you also find it a challenge to display and communicate joy in your God-given roles?

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  1. This was a great post today and I especially needed to hear it right now. I too love being a mother and taking care of my husband, children and home. Not many women my age (30 year old gen X) agree with what I do. Given the fact that I like you grew up NOT being trained for this kind of life. I also went off to college and got degrees to prepare me for life in the corporate world. But after working (like a slave) in corporate America I realized that what my priority and higher calling was. Now that I have a daughter (she’ll be two next week) I’m very conscious of how my attitude affects her. And today has been a challenging morning to say the least. It just goes to show you that no matter how firm your convictions are about our roles as wife and mother, it is sooooo important to be reminded on a regular basis how fortunate we are to be able to do what we do for our families and communities.

  2. Great post Stephanie! Even though I’m not a SAHM, I do think about what my actions when I am at home are communicating to our family. I don’t want it to seem like my time at home is another “job”. Or that my tasks at home are too burdensome after working full-time during the day. After much prayer, God revealed to me that even though there are challenges to balancing family and work, His grace will supply all my needs. And that I should embrace my role as a mother and homemaker NOW instead of waiting until conditions make it possible for me to be at home. Of course, I still need to learn to do more leaning on Him than trying to struggle on my own 🙂

  3. A lot of times I feel like I only talk about the difficulties of parenting on my blog, because I do feel so under-equipped and overwhelmed. I don’t have any one around me to mentor me as a mother or wife, so I’m just walking in such a way that I believe God would like for me to do as a wife or mother. He is the answer giver when I have a question. However, I do fail, and I know there are times when it has to appear that I don’t like being a mother. But, the truth is that I love being a mother and the wonderful opportunity I have to stay at home with the children. My kids are 3 and almost 2 and I would love to homeschool. It is a daily struggle to allow Him to prioritize my day in such a way that I receive joy, because it is usually when I have not invited Him in appropriately when things truly fall apart – even with my strong willed daughter.

    By the way, thank you for this blog and for all you do to encourage women in this endeavor.

  4. I enjoyed your post about rejoicing in our role as wife, mom and homemaker. It is a great reminder for all of us!

  5. Such a beautiful post. Thanks for reminding me that I need to communicate through words and actions the joy that I feel being my husband’s wife, my son’s mother, and the homemaker for our little family.

    Keep up the good work!

  6. great comments….I realized that I was not being consistent with what I believe vs. what my 3 year old is hearing at times. I sometimes use the excuse “I’m tired” to think I am justifying what I say or how I act. This is one more reminder that I need to work on this.

    Glad you had a great time!!!

    By the way post all you want about your lovely garden now that my snow is only a patch left! (just kidding…but the snow IS almost gone!)

  7. Hard truths are almost always the really good ones. Especially on one of those days when you are dealing with a tantruming toddler all day long. “Rejoice” and “joy” were not in my vocabulary today, until now. Thanks for the reminder.

  8. What a timely reminder!!! My children (1 and 2) have been sick and fussy and whiny for so many days that I had almost forgotten what a privilege it is to be able to stay home and care for them. Forgive me Lord! Thank you for that excellent reminder of the example I am ALWAYS setting Stephanie!

  9. Now I know why you weren’t at church yesterday :o) Too bad I couldn’t come with you….though I would have been the third wheel on your date.

    I have been thinking about this very thing alot lately. Being busy with SO much to do is the first thing to steal my joy. I have been asking myself if I try to run a orderly, efficient home because if “feels” good and satisfying to me or because it is what most glorifies God which is serving my family. It is so easy to do the right thing with all the wrong motives.
    I am finding (ever so slowly) that that choice to be filled with joy is about Him receiving glory due him and not just about doing the right thing for my kids. I am discovering it is easier to walk in joy when it’s for His sake and not only the sake of my kids or myself. To be aware of who I am serving when I serve and realizing the He is first and the blessing to my kids is second. My eyes are opening more and more to the reality that most things I do even for God are so tainted by what I want out of it.
    So been wanting to post about this but lacked the motivation. Typing this out has been helpful. Thanks for the thought provoking post.

    Want to hear more about the conference too.

  10. This is an awesome post… I had a rough week last week as a woman with all the roles you mentioned… I sought out why and realized I had not submitted to God above all. I forgot to ask for his help everyday and forgot to show my children that our home is run by him, and he uses me! It’s great to get encouragement from others, so thanks!

  11. Hello Stephanie,
    Guess what! I was also at the home school convention and saw you with your husband…. my eldest daughter (age 17) and my other children also recognized you…. I ran up to tell you that I read your blog but you were already on your way in to hear Voddie speak! Glad you enjoyed the convention. We drove up from Oregon and since we are origionally from Southern California (having moved up here only 3 and a half years ago which, by the way, was a HUGE step of faith for our family) we crave the teaching of great speakers. It was a great weekend and my husband was so encouraged as well as our five children.
    God bless,

  12. Carolina Momma, thanks for bringing that perspective as a mom who works. This is true for all of us, isn’t it?

    Ok Nola, get ready for the gardening posts… 🙂

    You’re welcome, Jess! *HUGS*

    Sandi, you would have been a welcome third wheel. 🙂 And great point about doing the right thing with the wrong motives!

    Cynthia, too bad we didn’t get to connect! That would have been great! I’m so glad that you and your family were so encouraged by it, as we were!

  13. HOLY WOW, did I ever need to hear this today. WOW. Powerful, convicting, inspiring encouragement. Thanks for sharing this, Stephanie!

  14. Great post!! I love love love being a mom but it is definitely a hard job. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the mundane and forget how lucky I am that God chose ME out of all the mommies in the world to take care of my kids. Thank you so much for this gentle reminder!

  15. Really appreciated this post, and will be linking to it on my blog tomorrow. Thanks–I really needed to hear that!

  16. GREAT post!! I really needed this right now. I am a young mother, who loves my role at home, but am really feeling the pressure right now to finish my degree and throw my babies in daycare. Many of your posts, such as this one, are so encouraging for me to be what God has called me to be, and that being a stay at home mom, loving wife, and caretaker is “enough” no matter what other people may think. Thank you!

  17. This is my new favorite blog. I feel like I’ve been searching for you for the last year! I desire to be the woman you describe, but I feel so unequipped and don’t know where to start. I’m on my knees now asking the Lord to grow that desire, to guide me as I strive to live a life that glorifies him. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  18. Talk about Conviction! I have not checked out any blogs in a while and for some reason I have been “in a funk” today and I feel that Christ has brought me to your page. I love to serve the Lord and I love to serve my husband.. but I fear that sometimes it does not show. This could not have been better timing for me.

    By the way- I really appreciate your blog. You seem like an all around amazing person, but you also seem real. I can totally relate to you. I do not feel like you are hiding under your blog!

    Thank you for your posts!

  19. I love what you said. I know my words and actions affect my kids,but actually seeing it in black and white is mind-blowing.I have one daughter and 2 sons. And I want my daughter to grow up knowing I love what I do (mom,homeschooler and one who loves Jesus!)and where God has placed me! Thanks for the article! http://www.minimemitchells.blogspot.com

  20. Thank You!! I need that so much. I do make it a burden so much of the time b/c I was not trained. Excuses, excuses. Thank you for that perspective change.

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