Day in the Life: Rachel (Waiting for God’s Plan)
Written by Rachel, Contributing Writer
I remember last year I shared my day with you; it was much different than a day of this year. I was very busy, and–not to say I am not now–it was just a different kind of busy. Last year I told you that “I went from being a stay-at-home mom to a working mom and was then a part-time working mom with the intentions of being a stay-at-home mom once again” and guess what???
With much patience, prayer and waiting, God gave me a desire of my heart to be back home as a SAHM!
I was back at home but still carried a deep desire to have more children. I wondered why I couldn’t get pregnant but had just recently saw a young girl pregnant and smoking or read about a woman who had an abortion of twins. I really couldn’t understand why not me.
It wasn’t until I finally surrendered and lay my desires down that He answered me.
This Day in the Life post is more of a pictorial tale of the past couple of months rather than one specific day.
Before a few months ago, adoption was never something I thought about doing–to be honest. But I knew we were supposed to have more kids. It was just something deep down I felt. So I decided to go to a pre-adoption class at a local Christian agency. On the way home after rain, I saw a rainbow and thought “God is so Good!”
I finally was able to lay down my desires to birth more babies after months and months of infertility or the inability to get pregnant and willing to accept whatever the Lord had for us, even if it was different that what I thought was supposed to happen.
A few days later while I was visiting family in Arizona I got a positive pregnancy test. I was excited yet fear rushed over me as I recalled the past two pregnancies that ended.
Shortly after we got home from our trip the morning sickness settled in. I spent about five weeks on the couch looking like this:
For the next couple weeks I wanted to allow myself to be excited but I was so scared of loss. We were able to hear the heartbeat but felt like I constantly needed confirmation that everything was OK. (If you have ever become pregnant after a loss you know what I am talking about.)
If there is a resounding theme here, it’s that I am constantly learning to trust God and waiting for His plan to unfold.
Although we wanted to do everything naturally with this pregnancy, we needed to confirm a healthy pregnancy due to my previous ectopic pregnancy:
We made our way to swim lessons, while I practically lay on the floor, while hoping the kids were in good hands with their instructor Miss Tiffany:
I watched on the sidelines while my my husband helped our son to learn to ride a bike:
I napped on the couch, trying to not think about the nausea while my kids played in PJs all day, read, watch more TV than they should and wrote on the walls, yes, they sure did!:
I finally began to feel (a little) better around 11 weeks, and we rented a boat and enjoyed a much needed family day:
All this time my husband really stepped up to the plate–cooking, cleaning, folding laundry…because oftentimes this was the state of our house:
Our 4.5 year old sneaked into our bed every night (still does) and I’m too tired to deal with it:
Our school year started; we do homeschool and school:
We let the kids choose an activity to be involved with for the first time: Lincoln choose karate and Julia choose ballet.
I’m here at an appointment with my midwife. We’re planning a homebirth:
I feel so blessed. Today I am 14.5 weeks pregnant! Although the past couple months didn’t go as I planned, and I was unable to get everything on my summer to-do list done, I had an amazing, nauseated past couple of months.
Here’s how we announced the good news earlier this week:
As I mentioned above, we never know what God’s plans are for us. We may think a certain way would be best, when all along His plans are far better than we could ever ask, think or imagine.
And I am up for whatever He has in store. Right now it’s carrying a precious baby, caring for my little ones, keeping home and being a help-mate to my husband! If one day He calls us to adoption, we’re willing to follow His lead just as we were before I got pregnant.
Thank you for reading about my past couple of months! This is a chapter of my story; we all have a story to share!
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Congratulations!
Leah Atha, beautiful name! Thank you so much!
So excited for your precious #3, Rachel!
Thanks Jenn!
What a blessing you are, sharing your story for others to rejoice with you and your family. I’ll be praying for you.
Jackie, what sweet words, thank you so much!
Congrats! So glad you get to SAH now too (especially with the morning sickness you’ve described).
Thanks Shannon!
Congratulations!!!!! Glad you’re feeling better.
Thank you April! 🙂
Congratulations Rachel! Your story sounds so much like my #3 pregnancy. Pretty much everything was the same, including the kitchen! That “baby” is now a 21yo and we went on to adopt a sibling set of 6, 10 years after he was born. You never know what the Lord has in store for you. Enjoy the process under God’s rainbow.
“You never know what the Lord has in store for you. Enjoy the process under God’s rainbow.” What sweet words JB, thank you! I’d love to adopt one day!
Oh, Rachel! I am jumping up-n-down, praising God with you! I didn’t know. My apologies for being out of touch! I am SO, SO excited for you all! And also praising God for answering your prayer with a yes, for you to be a stay-at-home wife & mom! He is SO GOOD!! Blessings, Kelly
Forgot to add, I will definitely be praying for you, of course! 🙂
Kelly, we didn’t announce the news until Monday, no worries! Thank you for all your prayers!
Rachel, I share almost for same exact story! I’m 12 weeks pregnant after experiencing 2 losses in the last 6 months. It’s been a heartbreaking journey full of all kinds of questions, but God is so good through it all. Thank you for sharing!
How wonderful Jenn! God is so good through it all!
Congratulations! Not trying to be rude, but didn’t you give birth before? As someone who has been married for ten years and have had nine miscarriages and zero live births, I consider myself to be going thru infertility:( I get really hurt when women have given birth not once but twice and then try for another and it takes more then a couple months and they say they went thru infertility;( it’s really hurtful;((
Dearest Jh, you are right, in no way can I understand your pain, I am so very sorry for your losses! I wasn’t getting technical when I used the term infertility, my understanding was those who couldn’t carry a baby to full term or get pregnant within a year of trying, for us it had been a little over a year and a half with trying and 2 losses.
In no way did I mean to hurt or bring up saddened emotions to others going through loss or infertility, what I meant to do was to tell my story. And nothing I did “solved” the problem, nor did I get x, y, or z right then God blessed us, no, it was in His timing. (And boy at times did I get upset because his timing wasn’t mine)
What I have learned through this experience is that loss & infertility (or the inability to get pregnant) is common, and I’ve learned to pray and support others going through the same thing. I have also learned that when God gives you a desire that sometimes you have to be willing to walk out in faith and go a different route, which wasn’t something I really wanted to do but did (starting to look at adoption), and would have been blessed which ever route He had me go. All along I was just waiting on God.
I’m praying for you Jh, that God gives you peace that passes ALL understanding and that Ephesians 3:20 would penetrate your heart and know that He has better plans for you than you could ever imagine!
Congratulations! That’s how I spent my summer too (pregnancy after infertility+nausea+worrying+5 kids to look after) Finally starting to feel better at 19 weeks.
Alisa, yay! I wasn’t alone, just kidding! 🙂 Glad you are feeling better! Congrats to you too!
I’m so happy for you guys were trying into Christmas for another one if not were good lol congrats we love you guys
Michelle, thanks! I pray the Lord’s will over y’all’s lives!
This post really spoke to me. My husband and I have been trying for over nine months for baby number two, now. I go through phases of frustration and self-pity, but then I am reminded of how there was a time when I didn’t think I would be able to have any children (and God has already blessed me with the sweetest little boy!). I am slowly — but surely — and only by the grace of God, getting to a place where I would be content if we weren’t able to have any more kiddos. God knows what’s best, and His ways are always right.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing that Janelle! Finding contentment is so rewarding! Praying for ya sister!
JH- So sorry to hear about the difficult journey you have been on. it breaks my heart to hear of women in pain over infertility, as I too have know this sorrow. I will be praying for you.
Congratulations to you! It’s great to see God give you the desires of your heart.
However, I feel very uneasy when people share stories like this: “I struggled with (whatever) for so long, but only when I totally surrendered to Him/laid down my desires/gave in to His will did He move in my life.” That, to me, sounds like–when I’m a good girl and when I do what God wants, He’ll give me what *I* want. That is a very dangerous theology. God blesses us because He is good and because He loves us. He’s not waiting for us to achieve a certain level of spirituality first.
I was single until age 33, and I desired marriage intensely for basically 15 years. It was agony. And some well-meaning people would say, When you finally surrender to God, *then* He’ll bring you a husband. I came to understand that’s a lie. The Bible does not teach that. And by the time I started dating my husband, I hadn’t reached some magical state of spirituality or surrender or contentment–I was still same ol’ me with the same ol’ struggles! The website boundless.org has addressed this many times, mostly in the context of waiting for marriage.
Anyway, just my two cents. Also, I sympathize with JH. When someone is waiting years and years for something, it’s painful for somebody to share their story of, I waited so long–aka 12 months–for this thing, and it happened! 🙂 But it is *your* story, and your pain was no less legitimate.
And also, after waiting til my early to mid 30s to marry, now I too am experiencing infertility. 🙁 (I’m now 35.) It doesn’t seem fair. I feel like God’s plans for me are nothing but delays, delays, delays.
Congratulations Rachel! Sorry for the difficult journey you have been on. Difficulties in life make us bitter or better. Glad you can see Gods Hand in it and trust Him no matter what. God bless you and your family!
Thank you so much Anna!
Thanks so much for sharing this with us! God is so good, thankful that things are going well with your pregnancy. I too had to trust that God knew what was best for my husband and I as we struggled to get pregnant and then dealt with two 2nd trimester losses, and then a preemie baby, and a miscarriage 3 years later. We wanted another child so our daughter would not be an only child, but I was scared to go through all that again. We looked into adoption, but did not have peace about it. The Lord used gentle encouragement from friends to remind us to trust completely in Him. We tried one more time and now have a healthy son. They are 6 years apart, but it’s all part of God’s plan and we are so thankful for them!
Rachel, thank you for sharing parts of your story! Trusting on Him is something I have to keep doing every second. Even this week I am anxious because we announced the news and am afraid of loss still but have to remind myself that this is His baby and not mine!
Hello there! I’m a very blessed mom of eight. Our oldest is 28, youngest 15. We had four in four years, then had a pronounced “gap”. It was a period of time we did not place control of our fertility in His hands–either way. It was heart wrenching when we conceived and miscarried, it was also sad when we did not trust the Lord in helping us to conceive. May you savor every moment to come of your pregnancy. What a blessing!
I REALLY needed this today, God has perfect timing…
So glad this encouraged you Julie! God’s timing is always “right on time!”
Congrats, Rachel! So happy for you!! 🙂
Thanks Brandy!