A Heart For Adoption
Written by Beth Corcoran, Contributing Writer
Adoption is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. And for some time now, I’ve been itching to share my story and my unique family with you. Today I get the chance!
I have been blessed to be part of an amazing and unique body of Believers that is passionate about adoption. There are many, many adoptive and foster families at our church that have been a great encouragement through our journey of adoption. But I understand that this is very unique and that adoption may be something completely new or even mysterious to you.
While I don’t intend to run through the process of adoption today, I would definitely like to answer your questions if you want to know more about that aspect of adoption. If there is something you would like to know more about, feel free to leave a comment.
Our Family’s Adoption Story
Our First Adoption
In 2006, after trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, we decided to pursue infant adoption. I think adoption to many is kind of a last resort, but thanks to the example of our amazing church friends, adoption seemed quite normal to us. So we got our homestudy done and applied to an adoption agency. Our little Isabella was born in May 2007 and we got to bring her home from the hospital. The joy that came from that adoption was so intense, and I am so proud of Bella’s courageous birthmom who chose life for her baby.
In February of 2008, when Bella was just 9 months old, we dedicated her at our church. Our pastor preached and challenged our church to not just say that we are pro-life, but to actually do something about it. We left that day from church burdened, and less than a week later, we felt strongly that the Lord was calling us to adopt again—but this time, to adopt older children.
A Journey Into Older Child Adoption
We got our homestudy again, and after waiting for a reply from DHS for several months, we decided to try a private adoption agency in our state. Although they primarily facilitate infant adoptions, we knew that they had done some older child adoptions before. So, we sent our paperwork and family scrapbook to them in October of 2008.
On November 4, I was teaching Bible study at church, and someone anonymously left $100 for our adoption on the podium where I was teaching. I was overwhelmed, especially since we hadn’t let anyone know that because we were choosing a private adoption rather than DHS, we would need a lot more money. That afternoon, an anonymous check came in the mail. It was for $4,000 and it said, “for your adoption” in the memo line. All I can remember is just laying on the floor and weeping, thanking God for His overwhelming goodness to us.
The very next day, I got a call from the adoption agency, asking us if we would be willing to adopt 3 older children, who were 4, 5, and 6 years old at the time. Concerned about how much adopting 3 children would cost, I asked. They told me that they would waive the fees, and all we would have to pay is the attorney fees. Which would total about $4,000. God had provided us the exact amount we needed, and had also confirmed in our hearts that these children were to be part of our family.
Two days later, we welcomed Micah, Malachi and Liliana into our family. To say that this adoption changed things for us is an understatement. It totally rocked our world. We were quite unaware of the myriad issues that come along with older child adoptions—behavioral, emotional, physical, etc. But the Lord has always been faithful to walk us through everything. Now, nearly 3 years later, things still aren’t completely “normal,” but what is “normal” anyway?!
Becoming a Foster Family
Then in late 2009, we heard a story on the news about how there aren’t enough foster families in our area, so babies will leave the hospital and go straight to a state run shelter. This broke our hearts. We were reminded of Proverbs 3:27 which says,
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.”
So, we felt the Lord was calling us to become foster parents to babies. We did all the training and in April 2010, we got our first foster baby. That placement lasted only one week. After that, we stopped getting calls asking us to take babies. Instead, we kept getting calls asking us to take older children. Wanting to meet the need, we took two little boys, who were ages 2 and 4 at the time.
I wish I could tell you so much more about their story, but I’m sad to say that I can’t because technically they are still in foster care and I have to maintain their confidentiality. But I am so happy to report that within the next week or two, we will be going to court to finalize their adoption! We are so happy that they get to be part of our family legally, since they have been part of our family in our hearts for so many months.
Why Adopt?
I love to talk about why adoption is so wonderful! It excites me every time! There are many great and important reasons to adopt—besides the fact that you will have a new child!
A Glimpse of God’s Heart
Adoption has done more to help me to understand God’s heart more than anything else. I have grown so much spiritually as a result of adoption. You see, the very act of adoption mirrors what God has done for us through salvation.
Romans 8:15 says, “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “ Abba! Father!”
I remember looking on tiny baby Isabella and feeling such love for her, even though she hadn’t grown in my womb. Isn’t that how God is towards us?!
Older child adoption has given us a further glimpse into God’s immeasurable love for us. It’s easy enough to love a tiny (and adorable, I might add!) baby, but it is a completely different thing to love and care for a child who returns your love with hatred and disobedience and is bent on destroying everything in sight because of his anger. But God has given us a heart to love our children despite those things.
And when I get really frustrated with the latest unimaginable thing one of my kids has done, God gently reminds me that He loves us even when we are in disobedience. Jesus died for us and called us while we were still sinners. We didn’t have to be perfect before God loved us. When we disobey, He still calls us back into a loving relationship with him. It’s been very convicting and humbling to see God’s heart through adoption.
Pro-Life Action
My husband and I are very involved with trying to end abortion in our country. Just as our pastor challenged us a few years ago, I’d like to extend that challenge to you as well. If you are pro-life, is it in word only, or is it in deed as well? There are certainly many ways to be pro-life, but one very basic way is to adopt. By providing a safe, loving and warm home for a child, you are providing a very courageous birthmom with the assurance that she made a good choice for her baby.
A Biblical Mandate
No, adoption is not mandated in the Bible, and you won’t hear me proclaiming that you need to go out and adopt in order to be obedient to the Bible. However, throughout the Bible are many commands to Believers to defend the cause of the fatherless and the orphan. Our family’s verse is James 1:27:
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
One great way to visit orphans in their distress is to adopt. There are so many hurting kids out there that so desperately want a loving home.
How to Get Involved With Adoption
For some of you reading this, you may know immediately that God has called you to adopt.
But, perhaps your children are grown and out of the house, and you don’t want to adopt more. Or perhaps you have 10 kids already. Let’s face it, not everyone is called by God to adopt. And that’s fine. But we are all called, as Christians, to take care of orphans–however that looks.
For me, it undoubtedly is through adoption. But maybe for you, it is through giving money so others can adopt. Our adoption was made possible because someone obeyed God’s calling of helping orphans by giving us money. Maybe you are supposed to start an orphanage. Or maybe you’re supposed to start a ministry at your church. Who knows….it’s different for everybody. But we’re all supposed to be involved.
I completely agree with everything you said in your post, Beth. A year and 3 months ago, our family brought home our 4-year-old daughter from China. While it hasn’t always been easy, it is one of the greatest blessings of my life. My daughter does challenge me, but I know God has placed these challenges in the form of this precious little girl to teach me so much: patience, longsuffering, kindness, the fruit of the spirit, basically! Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but then I realize God has chosen me to learn these things, and as I do, become more like Him. It is such a special thing in life to love a child not biologically related to you. It for sure teaches you about the unconditional love our Father has for us. If He can be so patient and loving and kind to us (who are adopted by God ourselves), we have no reason not try with all the strength we have (which comes from our Almighty God, who has the power to do ALL things) to do the same for our own adopted children.
Thank you for your post, Beth. I pray that it will touch someone’s heart to be open to the gift of adoption.
My husband and I have talked about adoption since we were just dating. We are currently pregnant with #2 after a miscarriage. This pregnancy has been very difficult. I’ve been wondering if perhaps God is calling us to adopt to expand our family in the future. However, I’ve also wondered if we would have trouble adopting because my husband is in the military and we move every few years.
@Stacy, I don’t know why, but my reply to you didn’t show up here. But if you look down a couple of comments, you’ll see where I replied to you! 🙂
@Stacy, Stacy, I am a military wife and I’m happy to report that we adopted without a problem in 2010!! Our agency was wonderful and quite understanding. It was the best experience of my life!!!! If you don’t find an agency to support your military lifestyle consider looking for another. Our agency is http://www.bethany.org We worked with the Nashville office. I would recommend this agency because its a christian agency and because of its heart for children. I wish you all the best. Pray and God will lead you.
@Stacy, I just wanted to let Stacy know….we are active duty military, have moved every 2-3 years since we married 9 years ago, and God has blessed us with 3 children through adoption (plus 2 bio kids). We have learned if God calls you to adopt, He is the one that runs things. The statistics don’t have any bearing when God is in control!
We are currently in the process to adopt internationally. I was so encouraged to read about another sister in Christ who has a heart for adoption!
Thanks for sharing! I’m not sure if this is something Stephanie would promote on her site or Facebook, but I’m currently part of an online auction raising money for a friend who is adopting twin boys from Africa. The auction started yesterday and runs through Tues night. Just like Operation Unite on Facebook and view the pictures to bid! 🙂 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Operation-Unite/260124917344956
@Stacy, I am sure there are adoption agencies that would be happy to work with you! If you do adopt in the future, just find one that does ICPC adoptions (interstate adoptions) so if you do get orders to move in the middle of the adoption, you can still keep on with it.
I love this post! Thank you for sharing your story. We have 3 bio kids, ages 7,6 and 3 and recently adopted twins, ages 10 months. (Domestic birthmother placement). The Lord has also opened our hearts to foster care and older child adoption, and once we pass the one year mark of the babies being home, we will be heading down to DHR! Our state/county are quite desperate for foster adn foster to adopt families. Hoping over to visit your site now!
amen, Amen and AMEN, Beth! Thank you for sharing your heart in this post! Thank you for sharing the LORD’s heart in this post! We are in the process of our fifth adoption right now (first domestic adoption)…and I can’t imagine our lives without these precious children! What the LORD has taught us through our children and through their adoption processes is amazing. We praise Him!
We adopted our 2 children and are starting the process to adopt again! I’m so thankful for the process of adoption and I love how we too are “adopted” into God’s family…a perfect picture of love and family! Thanks for sharing your story!
I am so happy that you can adopt. We tried to adopt a little girl through foster care in Colorado, but because of NICWA we were not able to after keeping her for over 3 months. We were NOT supposed to be foster care! Anyway, we want to adopt, but we can’t afford it. We can’t go through the state again , b/c it hurt and scarred us all – mostly our natural daughter who was 2 at the time.
It was so wonderful to hear you story about the gift money. I guess when it’s His Will and His Timing there is a way! Pray for us that we know.
My mother and father in law have gone to China twice to adopt older children, one at the age of 4 and one at the age of 6 (they’re both 7 now). We have been able to watch and pray with them through this journey and see how many ways God has blessed their obedience to His call, and my husband and I are eagerly looking forward to the day we are able to follow in their footsteps by adopting (I hope domestically at first, then maybe internationally as God leads us). We can’t imagine life without our brother and sister, who have fit right into our family and into our hearts!
My life has never been the same since a beautiful, scared little Asian sweetheart was placed in my arms 10 years ago. Adoption has changed our life. We have been blessed with eight other children through adoption (added to our 3 biological), and are now waiting for a son and daughter in China to come home.
This post is wonderful. Thank you for sharing it.
We adopted our daughter and twin boys at birth through open adoption. I was strongly discouraged to get pregnant because of health issues. Nine months later our baby girl was born. We decided to adopt again but it fell through. Thirty two weeks later we received our twins who had almost no prenatal care. When we asked the neo what their gestation age was he said 32 weeks. We have no doubt God gave us these kids!!!!!
I love that this blog did a post about adoption. So often we hear about all the wonderful natural family planning and home birth stuff (all very important) but for some of us, continuing to have children the “natural” way isn’t an option. I have had 7 pregnancies and only 2 live births at 23 and 26 weeks gestation (thank God they are both doing fine today after months in the NICU, 10 surgeries between them etc. ). For me it is just not ethical to keep trying. The good news is that adoption has always been in my plan. I am adopted myself! We actually had stopped trying to conceive before I got pregnant with my youngest and tried to adopt. We were selected by birth mothers twice only to have them both change their mind after the baby was born. It was heart breaking. But this has not deterred me from pursuing adoption again in the near future. I agree that adoption is one of the best ways to actually do something about being prolife. I think God has even put it on my heart recently to pursue a foster adopt situation as well instead of a newborn. We’ll see where this road takes us! Are you willing to share what state you live in and what agencies you have used? And if you ever want to talk to an adult adopted as an infant I am an open book. 🙂
@Amanda, Much as I am an advocate of natural childbirth, etc. I am also deeply persuaded that adoption is something that the Christian community is called to do/support. My husband and I are slowly saving up to pursue an international adoption, in addition to adding to our family through birth. I am so thrilled to be able to have Beth’s beautiful post on my blog! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story, Amanda. It is so amazing to hear how God has worked in your family, despite that struggles that you have obviously had to walk through.
Thanks for sharing this! I just love your heart. Though we haven’t adopted, we have thought about it. Adoption is definitely something we feel the Lord calls the body to be a part of – like you said, taking care of orphans, though it can look different with different people. Thanks for sharing your story!
Wow, talk about timing! Our daughter has a friend that went to her school. Her mom had really messed up and she and her 3 sisters were living with their grandpa. We just found out that HE died suddenly and now the girls have been separated and put into foster care! So our hearts just broke for them and we called DFS yesterday and asked if WE could take them all in! So now we wait and we’d appreciate any prayer for this. We would adopt them IF their mom would let us. But the first step is to get approved for a “kinship” foster for them. And that is what we’re hoping to do. And my husband is out of work right now (we have a home business and God IS taking care of us) but they said that as long as we are making our bills that they are ok with that. Everything that we THOUGHT would be a negative hasn’t been. So we’re cautiously optimistic about this. The thought of those girls losing their grandpa and then being separated and thrown into the foster care system breaks our heart and our daughter is ecstatic at the thought of having her friend and her siblings live with us. God is good!
What a wonderfully touching story your family has. Adoption is also dear to my heart and your comment about being proud of Bella’s mother for choosing life hits very close to home. My husband was adopted as an infant and I am richly blessed all because 26 years ago, a woman chose life. Life as I know it would be incredibly different if she had chosen otherwise.
Currently, my husband and I don’t feel called to have children, yet, but we do see adoption in our future whether or not we have biological children.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring & encouraging story.
I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m a mom who has adopted both in the US & internationally. My heart is really for the waiting children, especially right here in the US. I would love to see ministries like Project 1:27 everywhere (it’s in Colorado, but I’m not). I also was reading about the Orphan Care Initiative at Saddleback Church, where they provide this statistic: “there are currently 500,000 children in foster care. Of these children, 118,000 are eligible for adoption today. If just one family in one out of every four churches would adopt, there would be no more orphans in America” Wow! I was also reading about “Wait No More” events & saw this: “In Colorado alone, the number of foster children eligible and waiting for adoption was cut in half just one year after the first Wait No More event.” Again, wow! The church can be the solution. If not us, then who?
It is encouraging to see how adoption is becoming so embraced. Thanks for sharing your story. My “adopted” kids don’t live with me, but over 75 children in Uganda call me “mama.” For years my husband and I have had a ministry that partners with a Ugandan children’s home and school. My heart has always been especially drawn to the older children who are not adoptable, but who still have so much need for parental love and care. I am also very passionate about encouraging adoption within Uganda, getting Ugandan people to adopt their nieces, nephews, neighbors, etc. We try to help make this possible through different support programs.
@Jamie,
Do you have more information about this? I am very interested, but know it will be a while before God opens the doors, at least a year. I would still love any info. on adopting there. I just read an article yesterday that led my heart to Uganda! We will see what God has in store. thank you and God bless!
@Trish, Well unfortunately I don’t know very much on adopting from Uganda as the organization we work with there doesn’t facilitate international adoptions. I know of a great adoption agency, Lifeline, that is in Alabama and Georgia. I will say in terms of international adoption Uganda has some of the more demanding requirements. They ask you to spend an extensive period of time in the country. That makes it challenging for some, but it can also be very rewarding to spend so much time in the country. I know there are a lot of resources out there and hopefully you’ll find some helpful direction.
I would love to hear more about your ministry in Uganda! Do you have a website that i can look at? I also would love to encourage others in Africa to be able to adopt their neices, neighbors, etc. We are a family of 6…We foster 4 of our children, and have had them since they were small so they feel at home. We definitely have a heart for kids in need! I’d love to help out in this way for sure!
@Angela, Our ministry is Pearl Ministries and our website is http://www.pearlministries.org. My blog is http://www.ranchedonjesus.com. We’ve been doing work in Uganda for over 7 years and have learned much along the way. We love the country and really want the next generation to inherit a healthy nation. It has been hard. And it has been glorious. We do a lot to provide relief for children and their caretakers, but we are especially passionate about long term solutions of development that transform community. We have a sponsorship program that works with vulnerable children, most of them living with aunts, grandparents, siblings, etc. At Christmas we do a program called Ornaments4Orphans. Volunteers around the country put up Christmas trees in their churches, offices, etc. covered in fair trade African ornaments. People can purchase the ornaments off the tree. The proceeds go to benefit our children in Uganda. http://www.Ornaments4Orphans.org Thanks for your interest and your heart for children!
Thanks for the wonderful post! We are in the process right now with an agency and will be certified and on the waiting list in Sept/Oct for a domestic infant for our first journey into parenthood! The economy has produced a record number of adoptions in our state (AZ) and all-time low of families waiting to adopt.
I am VERY interested in adoption, and have been since 15 yrs. of age. I am currently 32 with 4 beautiful children, and a longing to adopt a few. But, timing is not right, husband does NOT agree, and God has much work to do before any doors open. So, I come before you ladies BEGGING for prayers, mercy, wisdom, and understanding for my husband and I so that we await HIs will and respond generously in His perfect time. Thank you! Also, a HUGE setback is funding, so if anyone has ideas on how to fund an adoption, international or domestic, I would greatly appreciate it!!! God bless and what a BEAUTIFUL story!!!
I think this is a great post and needs to be said more often. I believe Christians ought to be more about sharing their happy homes with children who aren’t currently in one. I am always disheartened at Believers who waste precious resources on fertility doctors and IVF procedures when they could invest in the lives of children who so desperately need love. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks so much for this wonderful post! One of my best childhood friends was adopted. She was killed in a car wreck at age 17 (my daughter is named after her), but it was so, so obvious throughout her short life that God planned for her to be with her adoptive family. Her parents struggled with infertility, yet they became pregnant with her brother just a few months after adopting her!
My youth pastor and his wife adopted a boy and a girl when they were infants. They are now teenagers, and my old youth pastor and his wife are in their late 40s. Miraculously, after more than 20 years of infertility, she became pregnant last year! They were shocked and in awe of God’s plan. The baby just turned 1. When they told their older two children, the 14-year-old boy said: “Mom and Dad, if God had allowed you to become pregnant then, you might have never adopted me.”
How cool is God’s plan!
I would love for the Lord to lead us to adopt one day.
Stephanie has graciously opened the door for me to guest post about another form of adoption in a couple weeks…I’m so excited to share!
Thank you for this post! We just had our 4th and final biological baby.But have always felt adoption is in our future. I truly hope to one day be able to adopt, or to be involved in adoption/orphan care in some way. I am excited to see how God plays that out!
I think adoption is a wonderful thing, when you feel called to it. Unfortunately I’ve known families for whom adoption produced much difficulty and heartache. Also, unfortunately the lack of available infants has significantly increased the expense and availability of adopting in the United States. I have friends who spent tens of thousands of dollars and in the end still didn’t receive a child. It is really a shame because there are many loving middle class families who will never be able to afford to adopt. I think the expense is what stops a lot of people from adopting and why there are so many children without homes, especially here in the US. Abroad can sometimes be worse as fees are really designed to make money off desperate American couples rather than what is best for the children. My sister has wanted to adopt from Haiti since she went on her first medical mission as a 13 year old girl. She is now a 27 year old physician’s assistant who has returned to Haiti 6 times since then and the call to give a child a home has gotten even stronger. But because of the political situation since the earthquake adoptions in Haiti are not easy. It will probably be a long time before it becomes financially or politically feasible for her to even start the process. Don’t get me wrong, I think adoption is amazing and wonderful. But I hate the way the system seems to abuse legal precedent to make it so expensive.
@Laundry Lady, You make a good point. Adoptions are really expensive. And in some areas of the country, the wait is long. I see there are two solutions to this problem. First, we need to be about educating women facing crisis/unwanted pregnancies that there really are many, many families who would take their babies in an instant if she would chose life for her baby. Secondly, if Christians would share in the financial burden with one another, adoption would be infinitely easier. But, the good thing is that our God is so much bigger than finances and can make anything happen!
@Laundry Lady, i agree with beth’s comment, and i want to add that adoptions do not need to be expensive or long. adopting from the foster care system is practically free (and comes with a tax credit, i think somewhere around $7,000)! also, the wait isn’t always very long unless you specify that you want a healthy, white infant. take away one of these criteria and there are tens of thousands of children in the US that are adoptable today.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful adoption experiences with us, those children will be so blessed to be in a loving home. My husband and I are preparing to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with a nonprofit organization called o3 Foundation (o3foundation.org/) to raise money and awareness for orphaned children. We will be visiting an orphanage in Africa while we are there. Orphaned children are the most at-risk group in the U.S. and I am learning more and more each day about how I can help these wonderful children as I get involved with o3.
My parents have 7 bio children and will be adopting their 7th child this year. All of whom have birth defects or substance exposed.
My husband and I have 6 kids of our own and have been foster parents for 6 years now. We have always been open to adoption but it just has not worked out so far. Currently we have 2 boys ages 2 and 3 that it looks like they will be available for adoption soon. We have made the decision to adopt them when they are finally available. We have had them about a year and a half now and God has definitely been using his refining fire on us. I want to do whats right and give these boys a home but they have put us through (to put it plainly) Hell. You would think at those young ages it would not be so bad. The youngest came to us at only 11mo old and I have never seen such anger and violence in a child that age. To see my children hurt over and over again breaks my heart. I have been praying and praying that God will change my heart and give me the ability to love them like my own children. Granted I am in a very stressful time of motherhood with Home schooling 7 kids ages 12, 10, 6, 4, 3, 3, 2, and nursing a 6mo. I feel like a horrible person and when people try to compliment us on being foster parents I feel guilty even accepting their compliments.
I would love to know I am not the only one that has ever gone through this.
@Jessica, I agree that adopting kids with special emotional and behavioral needs is very difficult. It’s amazing how much sin and rage is caged up in even the tiniest little heart!! God gives the grace to do it, but it is still hard. I’m sure you and I could swap some crazy stories! 🙂 Have you read the book “Wounded Children, Healing Homes” by Schooler? I highly recommend it. The book “Heart of Anger” by Lou Priolo has been an amazing resource for digging into the kids’ hearts and helping them to understand what has caused them to have such an explosive reaction. If you have questions, just ask!
@Beth Corcoran, Thank you for your understanding and Thank you for those resources too! I will definitely look those up.
@Jessica, I am not in a similar situation, but I just saw your pain here and wanted to encourage you…I don’t have the “right” words to say, and I wish I did, but I will pray that God will give you strength and help and encouragement. Have you ever heard of or read the magazines Above Rubies? They are a Christian magazine and can be encouraging, especially for big families and those who homeschool, and they also have a heart for adoption. They have the magazine made freely available to moms (they do accept donations, but basically they print when God provides the funds about 4 times a year). Anyways if you don’t know about them already look them up online.
I also wanted to share with you that my own mom was in foster care as a child (and her siblings in different foster homes). For her, she never should have gone back to her family, but she did, but having that 1 year experience gave her hope that there were some people out there who weren’t abusive and loved her, all through the following years that came that were, quite frankly, indescribably horrible (I don’t even know all the details). Later, as an adult, she found that foster family and kept in touch with them until they died (they were older parents at the time she was in their care). I also know another woman who lovely Christian woman who went through horrible things too but she was put in foster care with a Christian family and went on to heal and learn about Christ. I know that not every story turns out encouraging but you never know (sometimes you don’t know until maybe Heaven) what seeds you are sowing and with God’s help they can grow.
I hope this encourages you in some way.
Beautiful article. It made me think about my sister and her children. It took me back to when she was 15 years old and in high school. She told me that she wanted to adopt three little girls (ages 3, 2 & 1 at the time); their mother went to our school. Several years later she would meet and marry their father, a man whom she had no idea was the father of the children she had fallen in love with years earlier. She would adopt those children and become their mother, just as she had wanted to do at the young age of 15. Isn’t it funny how life works…or is it? I believe that was the path she was meant to take. The love that was placed in her heart years ago for those girls became a reality when she met her husband. My sister would go to the end of the earth for those girls and she has been there by there side, every moment of their life. Then it made me cry because their oldest daughter, now 14, is currently in a hospital in Virgina. In the two weeks since her check-in she has expierenced an earthquake and now the hospital is on lock-down in preparation for Hurrican Illene. I know how hard it is for my sister to be so far away from her daughter and watch these things happen…she has always been there fighting and will continue to fight for her children until the day she dies. Thats what a mother does. We bite our lip and smile while our heart breaks for our children. We lift them up out of their darkest hour and show them into the light. We love the with a passion unmatched from the moment they are placed in our arms (and our hearts). Although my sister cannot be with her daughter during treatment, she holds her tight in her heart…just as she did so many years ago. Out of reach but always in her heart. We love you Yolanda, be safe and come home soon.
I’m so glad to see this post! I’ve always had adopted children in my life–as a child, I had several adopted friends, and now I have an adopted niece and a few friends who have adopted children. I firmly believe that adoption and fostering are a key part of our ministry to this world.
DH and I have a biological child, but I struggled with infertility before she was born, and the problems returned after her birth. Since before we were married, we’ve talked about the possibility of adopting an older child; we still don’t know for sure if that’s what we’re supposed to do, but it’s looking more and more like God may want us to move in that direction.
thank you for sharing your story. you brought tears to my eyes. it is amazing to hear of the obvious movement and guidance of God in your life and family. blessings on your current pending adoption.
Oh, Beth! My heart was so warmed to read your story — even got teary remembering those pictures and especially how God provided the $4,000 for you guys. It has been a treasure to watch you walk the journey of parenthood. You are an inspiration, and I’m sure you will be a super resource if/when the Lord allows us to move forward on adoption. If it weren’t for the expenses of life and also adoption, I’m certain it would be much sooner rather than later! All in God’s perfect timing. 🙂 Press on, dear friend!
I SO LOVED this post. Read it at work and could hardly get back to my job afterwards … I agree with the fact that while Christians are not “in sin” or going against the Bible by not adopting, adoption is certainly something we as believers should be open to. My awareness to this began when I became interested in the global issue of human trafficking and our responsibility as Christians in regards to injustice. It became clear to me that beyond supporting the necessary efforts of those fighting against such injustice, being open to adopting potentially at-risk children should be something we are open to.
There is no way that you can know how much I needed this TODAY! I also had many fertility issues, and we adopted our oldest son through infant adoption. We were then blessed with two sons through multiple fertility sessions, but my heart has always leaned toward the verses that you quoted.
This year, God put it on my heart that it was time to pursue adoption again. Friends had suggested that due to my health, our family schedule, and the fact that I already homeschool three special needs boys, that perhaps we should be involved with orphans by creating a foundation to help others, but my heart was still to have a daughter of my own. We completed all of our paperwork, and have been waiting for a response. This afternoon, we found out that we have been denied the opportunity to adopt a special needs girl from China because of the way that I had worded something on our application. I had been crying out to God asking what I need to do next when your post came through.
It was like God breathing down on me that He was still in control. He has a perfect plan for me, and adoption is still part of it. Thank you for sharing today, and encouraging me that my Abba loves me.
@Wendy, Oh, thanks so much for sharing. I just love how God works things together. Will be praying for you today, and this daughter that is on your heart!
This is an excellent post. I don’t myself feel that this is the point in my life to adopt, and I also don’t believe it will be in the future, but that could change. However, I think adoption is a wonderful thing and its encouraging to see this post here.
The only thing that really bothers me about adoption is the cost, and the emotional turmoil that many families seem to go through trying to adopt. I know of many stories where things are dragged on and on, corruption with the adoption agency, etc….just horrible things. Its so sad since those kids really need homes. I know of one couple who finally is no longer going to adopt and another one who is so discouraged by all the stories that they don’t want to at this time anyways, although they long for children and would adopt. Then I do know other families who seemed to go through the process fairly quickly and not at as high of a cost financially than others. So I don’t know what to think other than it seems like such a big emotional undertaking and so I believe we really need to support and pray for those who are hoping to or are going ahead with the process.
Oh, what a wonderful testimony! I am happy to tell you I am intricately familiar with adoption – at both ends of the table. You see, after my first marriage collapsed and three children in tow, I allowed my flesh to rejoice for a few months which resulted in an unexpected pregnancy. Shamed, I moved back into my parents’ home with my children not knowing what I’d be able to do. It was not a month later that I completely understood that everything was for His glory; I knew the youth pastor and wife at my church had a son by adoption and wanted more. I knew immediately they were to be my baby’s parents – and so I approached them and asked them to adopt the baby. They cried; we have been bonded ever since. And now, this little girl is almost six; she is the darling of their world and the joy of mine. We may live in different states, but we are always in touch to share stories about her! Not long after I gave Lucy up for adoption, I met my forever husband and we were immediately confronted with infertility, and so we are both seeking to adopt a little guy to call my husband “Pa”. The timing couldn’t be better either: my youngest is 13, my oldest 22. We recently added on to our house, so we have plenty of room. If it is God’s will, I would love to adopt a few children, too! May the Lord bless you richly for your love!
Great post… and I thought you might like to check out my cousin Jennifer Holt’s website, about her experiences with adoption.
http://jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/
Your post really weighs a quote from Shane Claiborne heavy on my heart. In his book, “The Irrisistable Revolution”, he says, “I must say that I am still passionately pro-life, I just have a much more holistic sense of what it means to be for life, knowing that life does not just begin at conception and end at birth, and that if I am going to discourage abortion, I had better be ready to adopt some babies and care for some mothers.”
Praise you and your husband for being so wonderfully brave. I watched a friend struggle with infertility for years and when she and her husband finally adopted a beautiful baby, the light in their home just glowed so bright. My uncle and aunt also adopted two and fostered three, and they have all been such a blessing to our family!
I love to see adoption promoted, thanks for the blogpost! We have two biological children….had planned to have 4 then maybe adopt a 5th, but God had other plans. After the birth of our second, I had some significant health issues and for a few years was told to make sure I did not get pregnant. That was a difficult time for us, but it slowly became clear to us that it was God’s time for us to adopt. We just adopted a baby girl domestically 4 months ago, and what a sweetheart she is! I have to put a plug in for christianadoptionsconsultants.com, whom we used to help us along the way. Tracie Loux was our personal consultant, and she was such a blessing and help, and her life is inspiring! if you are considering domestic adoption, check them out. We had to work through questions and fears along the way, but God was faithful to meet us at each step along the way, giving us faith for the next step. At the beginning we didn’t have faith for the end! As far as money goes, my husband does not make much money and we began the adoption process with only enough to pay the consultant fee and begin our home study. We had no idea how we would pay for our adoption. It was truly incredible to see how God provided the money…some here, some there, but our daughter’s adoption (which ended up being the most expensive situation we encountered) is paid for! Unbelievable! There are many grants and interest free loans for adoptions, as well as many generous people. Our hope is to have another child naturally this next year, and then adopt one more time. Having adopted once has made us really want to adopt again. This past year has been a journey of faith, but also one in which we have been so aware of God’s nearness and His hand on our lives. He builds families.
Thank you so much for this inspiring post. My husband and I are excited for our plans to adopt in a few years once he has finished university and such. I already know we will have some resistance from family, but this was very encouraging.
Love this post, and reading about all the different ways you’ve adopted. My husband and I recently started the process to become foster parents, and we hope to adopt from the foster system one day. We have two biological children and have been struggling with infertility for the last two years, after a late miscarriage. I’m really looking forward to see how God is going to change us through the process of fostering and adoption. Everyone says it’s the hardest thing ever, but also the most rewarding and wonderful thing.
Great Article! I have 5 children. 7, 5, 4 (adopted from China at 26 months), 3 and 6 months. God called me to adopt when I was in high school and I knew one day I would parent an Asian child. I appreciate you have touched on the tough aspects of it, because there is some pretty scary stuff that we have witnessed in our own experience. She has blessed our family, my faith has grown, and I am a better person…no make that more like Christ. And that’s what it’s all about. I do feel called to domestic adoption next. But we still need healing, and my youngest to grow (yet I want to breastfeed the adopted child so I hope it all times out right). My faith is great, and I feel like I am just on a ride that has ups and downs, and God is in control with His perfect plan. 🙂
Thank you so much for this post. My husband and I know that we are called to adopt, but we are young and need to financially prepare for adding to our family of three. Your post gave me incredible encouragement and brought me to tears.
LOVE THIS!!! This IS the song the Lor has put on my heart.
We have been honestudy ready for 1 month now. We are so excited. This is a complete leap of faith…step of obbedience for us. We really really, really do not not have the money to adopt – but we are certain the Lord will provide. We just know it!
Thank you so much for sharing. Blessed!
I confess all my life I did not want to be a mother. And then last November God changed my heart completely and suddenly, and has given me a burden to adopt in the future. He let me see a tiny part of His heart for children, and I found myself changed and humbled and seeking his forgiveness for my selfishness. I also struggle with accepting God’s grace as truly ENOUGH for me, I find myself wanting to work for it. And then God gave me a thought of how when I bring my adopted baby home, I don’t ever want that child to feel they need to do something to earn a place in our home, or earn our love. I want them to know we did all the work, and we paid all the money, and made the sacrifices because we LOVE that child, and just want to be with him/her, just want to celebrate that child’s life. And isn’t that what God does for us? He did everything just so we can be home with Him.
I want to say that reading this post was perfect timing as my husband and I just discussed adoption yesterday. I’ve had a heart for adoption since before I even met my husband. He was never open to it and I thought since God was blessing us with biological children (we have 9) that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Yesterday my husband said that he would love to adopt some day! Our concern is not necessarily the costs involved as we know the Lord will provide, but the legalities of the system because according to federal guidelines, we are way below the poverty level (although most people wouldn’t know it). We long for the days of old when if a family saw a child in need, they could just take the child in and make him a part of their family–no costs, no red tape. Unfortunately, that isn’t how it is anymore so we are resting in the knowledge that if it is God’s will for us to adopt, He will provide the money and the way.
I feel God had me find your site. We recently adopted a baby boy born to a meth addicted Mom. We are almost at the end. I know in my heart, I want to have a home for addicted babies or babies of incarcerated Moms. I just don’t know where to start or go about pursuing this dream. I want to purchase a larger home with a little land to start the vision God has given us. I have 8 children of my own.4 are in college. I am 39. So I feel I have the energy to do this. Any suggestions you have would help me. I am a teacher in Pre-K in the public school. I want to quit and be home with my children and the ones to come.
Thank you
Katrina
Hello and may God Bless All of You. I am overwhelmed by how God has lead me to this website. The Lord has put in my heart and the heart of my husband to adopt a child. To be honest I always considered adoption and had a heart for orhpans. However, God Blessed my husband and I with three wonderful and heatlhy children. Nonetheless, adopting was always in the back of my head. Then my youngest child was born on August, 2012 and when she was only a few months born my husband and I began to have in our hearts the feeling to adopt a child, my husband always wanted a child from the Phillippines so I began my research for international adoption, but we are also keeping our minds open for domestic adoption. When I began researching on the costs of adoption I said: “Lord, I give you all I have and will do what is humanly possible and I trust you to do the impossible”. So we have begun our journey. My husband and I have attended a webinar on adoption and any information or input would be greatly appreciated.