Living with PCOS: Guarding our Hearts
I began this post with every intention of carrying on where I left off last time- beginning to discuss nutrition more specifically, and then moving on to helpful supplements and natural remedies. It just didn't feel right, though, and I felt that there was a more pressing issue to be examined first.
You see, fertility (or rather infertility) is a deeply emotional issue, and it sadly affects most women with PCOS to at least some degree. It touches right to the core of who we are as women, to the dreams we held as little girls, to our desire to have a large family or to have children close in age, as well as to our sense of self-worth, our contentment, our joy, and our trust in God.
All too often, those very legitimate hopes and dreams we hold in our hearts can be given too much free reign, and what starts out as a desire for something very good quickly turns into something ugly. We covet and envy. We resent others. We become angry. We withdraw. We cease trusting God and make a desperate attempt to control those things that we cannot control. We grow disillusioned. We give up hope. We judge others, and ultimately, we charge God with the unfairness of it all.
I can make these statements knowingly because they are very familiar to me. I spent a year battling this sin in my life (and even still I must often fight it, sometimes weekly, sometimes hourly), before I began to learn to surrender my own plans and chose to trust God, not because life will be perfect or the way that I want it to be, but because He is good, no matter what.
I recently spoke to a friend who is walking through her own very difficult journey of infertility right now, and was so blessed as she recounted a discussion she had recently had with her husband. I wish I could remember the poignant way that she expressed it, but the gist of it was that as they pondered the ongoing infertility and the process they had begun to pursue adoption, he reminded her that there is nothing God does that is not good, and she was struck by the realization that even in their current circumstances, that fact was still completely true.
He doesn't stop being good because life isn't turning out just the way that we think it ought to. He is good by His very nature, and regardless of whether we understand it or accept it, all things that He sovereignly allows are right and just and yes, even good. Even when they don't feel good. Even when they downright hurt. Even when our hearts ache, and we are filled with disappointment and longing and sadness.
Though I am in a somewhat different place now than I was while trying to conceive our son, there are still many days when my heart struggles with these things. It hurts to be asked whether we want another baby or when we will start trying again. It is difficult to think of how long it may take before I am able to conceive again, or of the possibility that I even may not. It can be hard to watch other's families growing quickly, or to see those who accidentally become pregnant, and keep my strong desires tucked away in my heart.
Unlike last time, I have chosen to keep my "trying to conceive" efforts to more of a minimum this time around. I keep holding off on charting my cycles, a practice which was incredibly useful and yet also enabled me to play so many mind games and become obsessive. Though I'm taking a few supplements, I haven't gone all out in looking for other options that might help me more. Though I continue to pursue eating well and staying healthy overall, I haven't allowed myself to spend time researching specific nutrients or foods that may be of greater benefit to me. None of these things would be wrong, in and of themselves (in fact, they could be very good and useful things to do), but if they encourage me to hold too tightly to these hopes and turn them into idols of the heart, then I need to do away with them until I am in a better place.
At this point in time, my heart is most able to stay at peace and trusting in my Savior by keeping my fertility held loosely in an open hand. The less that I run after methods and techniques and things that I have "control" over, the more that I am able to keep my mind stayed on Him and focus on the blessings and priorities that are in my life during this season. For me, right now, less is more as I live with PCOS and rest in the goodness of my God.
If you're struggling with these types of heart issues, here are a few suggestions that may serve you:
- Take a hiatus from "trying", whether it's to stop charting, stop studying, stop agonizing over when to try, stop talking about it, etc.
- Talk to someone you trust about the things that you're struggling with- perhaps a pastor's wife, a close friend, a mother or aunt or sister. Seek out someone who will encourage you to cultivate a more positive, trusting attitude, rather than support you in your sin (you know what I mean- those who will agree with you, "I can't believe she was so insensitive to talk about her pregnancy in front of you", or "You deserve to have a baby, and I don't blame you for feeling the way that you do"- this isn't what you need!)
- Serve someone else. There's nothing like looking for ways to serve and bless someone else in need to help you take your eyes off of yourself and your situation.
- Confess your struggles. The Lord already knows how you are feeling, and He promises to take our burdens (Matt 11:28-30), care for our anxieties (1 Peter 5:7) and give us strength to stand up under temptation (1 Cor 10:13). Try memorizing verses that will help you keep a proper focus, and put them in prominent places where you will see them often.
- Read Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges. This book was given to me during the summer when I was most struggling with this issue, and God really used it in helping to change my perspective and my heart attitudes, as well as my concept of His sovereignty.
- Refocus yourself- Pray and ask what else God may have for you to focus on during this season. Sometimes I think it is right under our noses, and we become so caught up with ourselves and what we want, that we can't see anything else that's going on in our lives. Spending time prayerfully examining the needs of our family or others around us, as well as our goals and priorities (perhaps on a personal retreat) can help to remove the blinders from our eyes and give us new clarity.
For those of you with PCOS or who have also struggled with infertility, how have you handled the heart issues that go along with it? What is/was most helpful and encouraging for you? Thanks for sharing!
An older friend once told me “First off, your hope must be in Christ, not in your circumstances.” At first, I thought it was harsh considering that I was pouring out my soul to her and all but then realized how true it was. I also know that I can trust her to tell me what I need to hear and not just sympathize although she does that too. (Thirty years ago, she was wondering, too, if she would ever have a child.)
Thanks for these posts, Stephanie. I don’t struggle with PCOS but do have experience with some sort of infertility. These posts are encouraging in that regard.
Infertility is something that has become multi-generational in my family. As you may have noticed though that if it is multi-generational, at some point, God has blessed each generation with at least one child.
I realize that this is something very real for me. I long to have children. Yet, I have come to the point where it is entirely in God’s hands. I’ve learned that I have to be okay with the possibility of never having my own children. It’s been a tough journey, but at the same time it is a bit exciting. I realize that by not having my own children, I have been given an incredible opportunity to be a mother to many in ways that would otherwise not be possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I would still love to have my own children, and I still have a hope that God will one day bless me with a child (or two, or three . . .) of my own. But in the mean time, I must rest and trust in Him. I must trust Him even if I never have children. I have to give Him ALL of my hopes and dreams.
And the cool thing is that even if I am not able to be a “real” mom here on earth, I know there will be orphans in heaven and I can’t wait to be their mommy.
I really appreciate this post. It’s exactly what I needed today. I just found out that yet another friend is pregnant. Seriously, *everyone* around me is having children right now (I’m really not exaggerating, only the single people aren’t), and it’s very difficult for me to be patient. On top of that, I’ve been helping out with newborns, and I have to say that holding cute babies for hours at a time isn’t helping. 🙂 Not only do I long for children, I’m starting to feel completely left out of the “mommy club.” My friends are moving into this other phase rapidly, and I’m choking in the dust behind them. It’s always hard when relationships change.
My mother-in-law has been encouraging me to enjoy the desire for children. Enjoy?! How can I enjoy wanting something I can’t have now and may never have? She tells me not to look that far down the road, but to enjoy my desire for something good, while keeping my joy in the Lord and not the Lord plus ____. On days when I focus on this and pray about it, it helps tremendously. I don’t want to turn off my desire for children; that desire is God-given and very natural. Shutting myself down emotionally is not the answer. Pretending I’m not hurting isn’t helpful either. But I don’t want children to become an idol. My joy and my hope are in the Lord.
I wish I would have had this 7 years ago! I struggled with PCOS and infertility. 2 miscarriages during this time stressed me to the max, affecting my faith and marriage. Now, I have four beautiful daughters in less than 5 years! (which also stresses me at times 🙂 ) I thank God for His blessings on us. Looking back, God has allowed me to touch others through my struggles. My main struggle with PCOS right now is trying to loose weight…very difficult!
I look back on the years I was struggling with different testing, seeing a RE, etc and I was SO clueless!! Unfortunately I was just going through things as the world says without really focusing on praising God….
May God bless you for sharing from your heart!
I don’t have pcos, and to be honest, I don’t know much about it. I am touched by your post, however. Your honesty pours out between the lines.
ps. I see you have an ad for Piper’s book Don’t waste your life on your blog – I did a study of that book this past summer – good stuff!
I have been surprised by how similar the struggle of infertility is to the struggle of singleness. Both are good, natural desires that God sometimes holds off on answering, for our own good. Both struggles surprised me in their intensity.
So while desiring a baby, I keep going back to lessons learned while single. I have no rights; I do not have the right to children. I gave my “rights” up when Christ became Lord of my life. So the struggle is to continually surrender that good, natural desire to my desire to love and obey God. I want to love Him more than I love having children.
*All* of my friends are pregnant, too. I’m alone in the wife-but-not-mother group. It isn’t easy, and when I was single I struggled with believing in the goodness of God while He denied my desires. By His grace, I’ll continue to take the lesson of His goodness deeper through this trial.
But I keep going back to the promise God gave me in Isaiah 54:1-3. He has a purpose in my barrenness, a purpose that could not be fulfilled if I had children. It is somehow bringing Him much glory. And I want His glory more than I want babies. 🙂
Just had to chime in here. I am a very, VERY blessed mamma of four. Two homegrown and two via Asia.
I know I am not in the same boat as many. I was able to have two children but then no more so I have a taste of those (hearbreaking isn’t even the word) feelings and longings. Please know that my heart goes out to those with infertility. I have had a taste of that pain and do not want to come across as a goody-goody or insensitive.
What I do want to say is that adoption isn’t second rate and doesn’t have to be Plan B. I have to say that my life is infinately better because of this amazing blessing. No, I did not birth the twins in the same manner as my older two girls and yes I would be heartbroken to have missed out on the birth experience. But, the twins were birthed in my heart. There is absolutely not one bit of difference in the love I have them and the love I have for my older two girls. They are all my daughters, genetics or not.
One of the most amazing things throughout our adoption was how God showed Himself to me through it. Our God is a God of adoption. He adopted me unconditionally as I was, and loves me regardless of my shortcomings, seeing what potential I have.
I’m not doing a good job communicating it, I’ so sorry about that. I really just want to encourage people to give adoption serious thought and prayer. It’s not second rate and you won’t regret it…I promise!
“It hurts to be asked whether we want another baby or when we will start trying again.”
First off, we don’t suffer from infertility. We’ve been blessed with 4, going on 5 children. Regarding this statement though… I don’t like it either. On the other end of the spectrum we get asked things like, oh really, your expecting again, must have been a surprise, right? That hurts too, of course (and these aren’t just the people you meet in the grocery store, they are fellow believers.) I always mention that God is never surprised, that He has a perfect plan for us and that includes how many, and what kind of children we have.
But also in regards to what you have stated. In our culture it is very common to have a couple of kids either close together, or further apart, depending on what you want. Yes, what you want. We are in a society where we get what we want, or we certainly try. So often I hear talk of when they are going to have another one, or when they are going to start trying for another… etc. It makes my stomach hurt when I hear it. So… when I see the ‘perfect 2 kid family’ I will often assume that is done purposely and that they are ‘done’. Obviously a bad assumption on my part, but can you understand why it is?
And I’m rather long-winded here, especially seeing as I rarely leave comments on blog, but one more thing. I can’t imagine suffering from infertility. But also remember that having a large family, with children very close in age can also be a very difficult thing. It means giving up alot for your family. It means walking around in a fog, sometimes for years. It means giving birth and recuperating many times over and suffering from physical and emotional problems relating to this. It means raising children, even those with special needs. It means alot of things that aren’t always rosy. And no, I wouldn’t trade this in (also because I know it reaps benefits way beyond the now.) What I am getting at is that God has work for you to do in His kingdom. It may be the raising of children. It may be other things. Or it may be a combination. Either way, you are His child and have a purpose. Try not to pine away after what others have – it may not be what you expected it to be. (And I’ll admit that I’m sometimes envious of those who have their children spaced apart…)
I don’t have PCOS or problems with fertility but I HAVE found comfort for my other struggles from this song: Trust His Heart. I sang it in my high school choir and the words have brought me so much comfort. “God is too wise to be mistaken / God is too good to be unkind / So when you don’t understand / When you don’t see his plan / When you can’t trace his hand / Trust his heart”
Do you know of any resources for someone dealing with her husband’s infertility? One of my close friends is really struggling with heart issues here, especially misplaced resentment and regrets.
I needed to read this post today. I have always suffered from PCOS and had great difficulty getting pregnant and staying pregnant. After multiple miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, fertility treatments, etc., God gave us our beautiful 3-yr-old daughter, Grace. We are immensely thankful for her after 8 years of charting cycles, fertility specialists, hundreds of pregnancy tests, ovulation kids, and all the heartache that comes with realizing that we are not pregnant again this month. Fertility issues have been a deeply emotional and spiritual journey for my husband and me. We have to cast ALL our burdens on the Lord and rejoice in Christ alone!
Now that our daughter is 3, we too have been dealing with the questions about when we will have another baby. Sadly, God has closed that door for us. For medical reasons, I finally broke down and had a hysterectomy last month. This too has been difficult to bear, but our hope is in the Lord…He is ALL good and everything works together for OUR GOOD.
I must admit that it is somewhat of a relief to not ever chart my temps or test for ovulation or take a pregnancy test again. I don’t think I realized what an emotional burden it was to go through this cycle every month, and now I have a sense of peace about our situation. God has been good to give us one child, and we hope to adopt in the future. Praise the Lord!
I don’t suffer from PCOS, but I do understand the struggle to remember that God is good in all things.
I will say this one thing: As someone who suffered a miscarriage and struggled to get pregnant, I do find it hard to hear moms with multiple (2 or more) children being upset that they aren’t able to have more. Please don’t take that to mean that I think you, or any of the women on here are doing that. But personally, I viewed it has being borderline harsh, when women knew I was trying to conceive and would bemoan that they had not yet conceived their 2, 3, or sometimes 4th child. Perhaps it is that God has dealt strongly with me in this area, but I would say that while I yearn to have more children, if I don’t, I don’t. And I would be delighted either way.
God doesn’t promise that we will get married. God doesn’t promise that we will have children. So when I stop and think about that, I have to rejoice in both my marriage and my daughter – realizing that this might be as full as my quiver ever gets – and God is still just as good as ever.
Although I haven’t gone through what you describe, it did take longer than I wanted to get pregnant after my miscarriage, and I got a glimpse into what it would be like to deal with infertility over the long term. I had many people asking me about when I was having another baby, which was so hurtful to me. Especially as I do have a condition that may affect fertility- although it hasn’t really in any major way at least so far. I think that people must not think before they ask questions. Many times I felt like I was just going to cry having just lost my baby and having people ask me since apparently my children are “far apart”.
I know that I did do charting when I was waiting to be pregnant again, and now I know that I shouldn’t have, as having a baby did become the wrong thing in my heart. It did help me conceive, but my heart should not have been in that place. God blessed us anyways but I have to work through that now. So I can now see that I did not handle the “heart issue” of this matter in the proper way. If I were to do it again I would face it more like you describe by not doing anything in particular since that would only encourage me to want to be in control when I am not.
The other part of your post about God still being good no matter what the circumstances really struck me though in other areas of my life. I have health issues I really have tried so many things for and nothing seems to help 100%. It can become a heart issue. It can make me angry at God and believe God is not good anymore that He allows this when everyone else seems to know “the cure” that didn’t help me. I would imagine its the same thing for fertility issues- it can be devastating to live day in and out trying to work through the pain and wishing life was different. Thank you for reminding me of God’s goodness no matter what. Its true.
Trusting God by Bridges is probably my favorite book. It was such grace to us when our son Jonah died six years ago….and through the PCOS diagnosis and two more miscarriages. It has proved helpful with job stuff and all things in life really…..that don’t go my way! We are in what the world would call “crisis” in the money / job front as I type.
I look back and see how God has used all the painful hard things to make our relationship stronger and more intimate. He does all things for his own glory and for our best and good. Sometimes I wished it could have been easier struggles that made me see Him for who He is….ultimately everything we go through is to bring us more near to Him. He loves us enough to allow us to hurt in order to give us what we really need…..more of Him. What helps me is repeating to myself that “My greatest need has been met in His death on the cross”…..what else do I really need outside of His righteousness that saves me from the wrath I deserve?
I am pregnant with my sixth baby who will be born in 6 days (secheduled c-section). I do not deserve this, it is nothing but grace and mercy. I am truly humbled by getting to do this again especially when I know so many people who have never done it once. Though I have lost three of my babies….the three I get to raise are not my right but a gift given because that was His plan…not becasue I deserve it.
I struggled with infertility for 3 years before becoming pregnant. I had a loose PCOS diagnosis (blood tests weren’t conclusive)
What I do want to say is this… GOD STILL DOES MIRACLES!!
I came to the point where I didn’t want having children to be an idol in my life and traded it instead for a lack of hope.
There is no way to tell you how to have hope and still leave it all in the Lord’s hands other than say He is God and He is ALWAYS working things out for our good. No matter how we might see it.
The Lord has blessed us with two little boys in the last 2-1/2 years but I will NEVER forget the agony of month after month waiting/hoping/praying for a child. I am grateful for a deeper level of compassion now than I had before. Any additional children we have will always be considered miracles and whether the Lord ever opens my womb again I will love Him!
Sorry this is so long, def. an issue close to my heart.
Thank you for this post. I think there is a difference though between idolizing having a child and doing your best to conceive. I would think that God would want us to do the best in everything we put our hands on. So if we’re trying to conceive … then let’s make the most of it. While obsession is crazy, I do not think that ignoring PCOS is going to make it go away. In fact, I’m pretty sure that God is smarter than we’re giving Him credit for here. I mean, He knows the desires of our hearts, and He wants us to confide in Him. I have PCOS and have not had the privilege of having a child yet … I also have not stooped to the sadness of ignoring my pregnant friends, etc. While at time I feel left out of the club, I also take comfort in the fact that people with somewhat older children are always reaching out for a friend and a non-child moment. I love holding the little babies in the nursery at church, and I love spending time watching young mothers figure things out. I also take comfort in the fact that my husband is going through the journey with me … and even though I feel alone in it at times … I know that he’s just as disappointed when the pregnancy test comes back with one line. I guess my suggestion is going to be to pray often, be honest, and really think about where the desire for having a child is coming from. If your desire is heartfelt and indescribably strong, then it’s probably coming from God, and in my experience, those are the situations that always turn out the best!
Thanks so much, all, for your willingness to share from your hearts. This is a vulnerable issue, and I am blessed that you would share of your stories and what God is doing in your life. I am so encouraged by your responses!
lizzykristine, that’s an interesting comparison to singleness. I think you’re right, because the basic issue is the same- us wanting something good, but turning it into something that we demand or feel we are owed, something many of us struggle with before marriage and certainly in infertility. Thanks for bringing it back to His glory!
Trying Traditional, thanks for the mention of adoption, because it is most certainly not second rate! I am a very strong advocate of adoption, and my husband and I hope very much to adopt several children.
Alisa, yes, isn’t it interesting how focused our culture is on what we want and when we will choose to have another baby? We have really bought into the lie that it is up to us, that we can plan it (either to make it happen at a certain time or to avoid it). I am coming to recognize more and more that it is not about us at all, and that it’s really not up to us to decide.
As well, I can certainly understand how being on the other end (having many children closely spaced) can have many challenges to it as well. It’s probably more difficult in the day-to-day than having them spaced further as my children are, and brings up different areas in your life where God is molding and changing you. Thanks for reminding us that the grass is not always greener (though I know that you are saying loud and clear that your children are a blessing and you’re thrilled to have them).
Samara, I don’t have any suggestions for something that specifically touches on the male infertility or how it affects marriage relationships. I think the book I recommended (Trusting God) would still be good, as it will help her to work through her views on why it’s happening and where she directs her emotions, and to focus on trusting God for the hurts she is experiencing. Does anyone else have a suggestion for Samara’s friend?
Sarah, I certainly don’t mean to say through this post that the level of infertility I walk through is the same as someone who is not able to conceive at all. I have several friends who have never been able to conceive, and truthfully I have no idea what it is like to experience what they have walked through. I am beyond blessed to have the 2 children I have, and I know it. I can understand how it may be difficult to hear those with several children talk about infertility, but what I’m trying to address here is mostly the fact that no matter what our experience is with it, our heart response can be the same, and that is crucial. I certainly don’t want to compare difficult experiences, but rather encourage all of us to examine our hearts and turn to God no matter what level of infertility we may face. Thank you for sharing, and I am blessed by the perspective God has given you on receiving any number of children with joy!
Mrs. M, it is so exciting for me to watch you anticipate this baby after the losses you have experienced! God is so good!
Yep, Mandi, God does do miracles and he is definitely always working things out for our good!
We struggled for years with infertility. During our time of “trying” God spoke to my heart and told me, “If you will keep your heart pure I will provide a child for you. When I do you will know that it is me because it will be easy.” Keep my heart pure was a daily process for me. I walked it our for four years before we finally chose to put in an application for adoption and let God lead us down the path He had for us. We had our baby 21 days after putting in our application for adoption and I made it to the hospital several states away 1 hour before he was born. We now have two amazing boys. For us adoption is the right choice. To see how God placed these two boys from total different people and place in our home and they fit in a way that is beyond belief-you can only praise God. He is so good. We had to lay down our preconceived ideas of how we thought things should be done and allow God to do it the way He knew is best for us.
Pamela, I think that there is absolutely a difference between idolatry and just doing your best! I didn’t mean to say that any time that we do something to pursue physical healing and conception that we have made an idol of getting pregnant. I think that it is a great thing to work towards a healthier body, so that we will be more able to conceive and make a healthy baby, if that’s what God allows.
I’m just trying to remind us that it’s easy to let our hearts move in that direction, and that we need to be aware of where we’re at. If we’re able to trust God and do things to increase our chances of conception at the same time, then that’s great! In fact, in the last day or two, after writing this post, I felt some freedom to study a bit more and work harder at doing things that will minimize the effects of my PCOS, and I will continue to do that unless I feel convicted that I need to pull back or take a break again.
And I think your attitude about enjoying relationships with woman who reach out, working in the nursery and learning by watching young moms is wonderful. I appreciate your honesty about the disappointment, and your advice to be honest and really pray about it. I definitely agree that God often gives us strong desires, and sometimes those desires aren’t realized right away, but we can continue to pray about them and hope for their fulfillment. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks for the response! I am curious though … what things have you learned that can minimize the effects of PCOS? I’ve often wondered if a diet change, etc. can really make a difference, but confess that I have been very trusting of my doctor’s advice, and have not gone very far down this path. I am currently far from over weight, and understand that some of the impact may be on dieting. I wonder though … is there anything else? Also … how long did it take you to conceive your first child? Did this happen with medical help or great personal persistence? I’ll be praying for your second child journey. Thanks again for the post!
Pamela, there’s actually so much that can be done to minimize PCOS’s effects! That’s the point of this series that I’m writing right now, but I just felt I needed to take a break from the nutrition stuff to talk about this issue of the heart. I will definitely share more about what can be done, as well as more of my story. I will say, though, that I do have a second child now, conceived after a year of trying, with medical help at the very end of that (that’s why I said that I’m in a bit of a different place now, having already had my second child- though we still want many more children, the struggle isn’t quite as hard as when I only had one and wanted to give her a sibling). I will also explain more about what natural things we tried, as well as why we chose to go with medical help at the end of that year. Thanks for your great questions!
My OBGYN thinks that PCOS but the endocrinologist says I am to fertile. I went through a while of trying to get pregnant (almost a year) with my first. Then about 7 months for #2. Then #3 and #4 were 1 shot babies. You have to let go and let God. Seriously, as soon as I put it out of my mind (well more along the lines of, “Fine God, I guess I am not getting pregnant. I’ll go get a job) then I got pregnant. I have other symptoms that I need to learn how to handle like being as big as a house and the horrible cysts.
such a beautiful post, again – and this is hitting me EXACTLY where I am today. Your words are now bookmarked on my computer, and I will go back often for encouragement and support. Thank you for your transparency and openness about this. I can see your strength in the Lord, and right now, I’m going to lean on that strength since I am so weak in my faith. I know He has a plan for my life, I was so confident I knew what it was. I know what I need to do to get back in sync with Him and His will – and I thank you for getting me started on the right track.
This is a wonderful post, and although I came to it late, it is very timely for me. We struggled with infertility due to endometriosis for years and chose to turn our desire for children of our own into a desire to help children in need through foster care. It is hard in a different way than having biological children, but rewarding in different ways, too. Giving our desires up to God and letting Him change them into something different was very painful but ended up being wonderful for us. We now have 2 sons, 1 through foster-adopt and 1 “tummy”.
I have been stuggling lately with more medical stuff and it is wonderful to be able to read this post and cut through the whiny poor me’s I’ve been saying to myself and be reminded that it is God that I serve, even if I am laying in bed, or infertile. If we find the way that we can serve, everything seems to work out according to His plan.
We had no trouble conceiving the first time around and have been blessed with a son… but nursing really wore me down, and recently I found out I’ve developed PCOS and have had difficulty conceiving again. I’ve always been interested in adoption, but we were hoping to have another of our own, as well… so this was an encouraging post for me because it just reminded me to keep trusting that God knows what he’s doing. I’m changing my diet to improve my health and be faithful with what God’s given me, but even if I can’t conceive again, I know it’s okay. And it’s a good reminder to focus on the other opportunities God is giving me to pour into my family and a mother’s ministry that God has called me to lead. I do feel that I wouldn’t be able to do some of the things I’m doing if I had another child right now. Thanks for sharing!
I found this series a little late in the game, but at just the right time. My husband and I had started trying about ten months ago and I was under the assumption that I was going to be able to get pregnant right away because I charted, I was healthy, and I had never taken any hormonal drugs. I had a lot of pride coming into this season. After about 8 months and no pregnancy, we talked with our chiropractor and he encouraged me to get some labs done. I found out that I had PCOS about 6 weeks ago, which made my years of frustrating menstrual cycles make sense. It’s been hard to know how to really go from here, I know that God is good and that He is using this to reveal to me how sufficient He is in my life, but it’s hard and scary. Thanks for this series that you wrote almost four years ago! It’s definitely ministering to my heart now…