An Open Letter to the Online Community: Let Kindness Reign
Blogging is about community.
It connects us across the miles. It allows us to share our knowledge, our inspiration, our struggles and yes, our very lives. It is a fabric woven of a diversity of people, and it can be a very beautiful thing.
It can also hurt.
I’ve been a blogger for over 6 years. At first, it was pure enjoyment, sharing from my life and connecting with readers. Then, gradually, the comments and emails came…
the ones that quietly shamed me
the ones that poured salt in my wounds
the ones that told me I was less than
the ones that heaped on the mommy guilt
the ones that said I had done them wrong, or hadn’t done enough for them
the ones that tore me down, clawed away at my self-confidence and made me doubt myself
Over time, as a blogger, and I think as any sort of a public figure, you build up a thicker skin. I know I did. The tenderness and delicate places grew rough callouses, protecting me from the thoughtless words of others.
Most of the time, I can remain in that place. I know when to let something bother me, and when to delete or walk away and let it be without having it gnaw at my soul.
I first wrote these words almost a year ago, when I was feeling hurt and accused. Unsure of whether to share them, I let this post sit and simmer for a good long while, and gradually the hurt went away. These past few weeks, however, I’ve started to struggle again.
But this time, it’s not for myself. It’s for the other people I see being slandered and torn down in similar ways. I couldn’t remain silent anymore.
There’s the one who’s been betrayed and judged by friends who couldn’t handle her blogging success. Another whose privacy was violated and the information used to publicly humiliate her. And yet another who is simply weary of the sheer meanness of comments being directed her way, for sharing something as benign as what she gave her kids to eat for lunch.
It’s not only against bloggers, either.
I see this unkindness in the comments on blogs and Facebook, where one reader goes against another, one mom makes another mom feel small, one woman lashes out at the opinion of another woman, one anonymous smiling Gravatar photo belittles another smiling face with the flick of their keyboard.
It seems to me, and correct me if I’m wrong, but the longer I share this online space, the more I sense this pervasive and ugly thread weaving its way through our tapestry of community.
Anonymity makes us unkind.
When screen to screen, and not face to face, we say and do things we would never do otherwise. We tread harshly on people. We belittle, we mock, we rip, we shred, we push, we judge, we condemn.
Social media has changed the way we interact with the world around us. Our lives are virtually open books (or Facebook walls). In a day and age where we live increasingly isolated and lonely lives, we’ve chosen to open up ourselves to this online “community” in hopes of finding meaningful connections, friendship, support, encouragement, camaraderie, and care.
We put ourselves out there in a way that is unprecedented. We share “what’s on our mind” statuses freely. We tell the world what we “like”. We write blogs full of our summer vacation photos, our how-to tips, our bravely told stories, our musings and inner conversations. We create pin boards to show off our style, our dreams, our preferences.
So here’s my question… Does putting ourselves out there mean we’re open season? Does it make it justifiable to berate the opinions and ideas of others simply because they’re out there?
Like vicious, ugly chickens, we peck away at one another until we bleed.
I know that it’s common among bloggers to feel worn down by the attacks, the nasty comments, the hurtful judgments. As those who participate in this online space called social media, I’d wager that you’ve felt picked at in one or way another as well.
Perhaps we think that these screens, these metal computer casings, are somehow protective. That things said in cyberspace don’t have an impact in real life. That sticks and stones may break our bones, but Facebook comments will never hurt us.
But they do.
My Macbook and keyboard may be made of steel (you know, or fiberglass and aluminum), but my heart? My mind? Not so.
I am a real person.
The women online, be they bloggers or fellow readers and sharers of this space… they’re real people.
The barbs that we launch into one another’s skin may come out, but not without tearing a little flesh, or leaving a scar. Our words spoken online matter. They impact people. They hurt.
Friends, may it not be this way among us.
may we speak to one another with honor and respect
may we remember that the person on the other end of the screen is a real person
may we ask ourselves “would I say this to their face?”
may we judge that others are innocent until proven guilty
may we extend the benefit of the doubt
may we season our words with kindness, and sprinkle our emails with grace
Dear Stephanie,
I am sorry that others have been so careless in what they have chosen to type, especially followers of Christ. I personally find your blog inspiring as a homemaker and a Christian. I am thankful you take time away from your family to encourage other moms in our journey as women, mothers, wives, and disciples. You know Satan loves to make us feel inadequate and your blog is a powerful weapon against his schemes, but also makes you a target. I will be praying for you, yours, and this blog! Keep up the good fight and thank you for being a place I turn to for guidance as a “keeper of the home”!
Well said, Vannette! I too find your writings encouraging and up lighting and am very thankful that your family shares you with us. It is so sad that some feel the need to tear down. Personally, I am going to try to be more faithful to pray for those bloggers I follow. Thank you!
It is important to write what you have written. You are very right.
A metaphor I have used goes something like this (I pray it may be useful): There are negative particles and positive particles, called anions (negative) and cations (pronounced cat ions, positive). When positive ions build up in the atmosphere, they attract anions (opposites attract). During a storm, occasionally a tremendously large group of anions will leap through the air toward the cations. We call that lightning. And lightning strikes can be spectacular. And damaging, and sometimes deadly. They can start forest fires. I think you get the imagery.
I think there is an energy in humans as well. Some people seem unable to neutralize the negative within themselves, and they are, perversely, attracted to positive people and seem to want to neutralize the positive energy.
I also am guessing that there are some who get their jollies from conflict. Your blog is an influence for good, moving people away from conflict.
I want you to never receive another nasty message. That is not likely, though. But perhaps we can see these ugly words as evidence of your success at producing and spreading positive energy.
Put in a different way, have you read The Screwtape Letters? The enemy will target those who are making progress for The Kingdom. George Fox called it The Lamb’s War, and I think he used that term to explain that as we seek to follow the Lord’s will, we can anticipate resistance. I try to think that the more resistance, the closer I am to being on-target.
I deeply appreciate how you open yourself up in your efforts to help us all.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the online community would follow the old golden rule: If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all?
It saddens me so that more and more bloggers have to write these kinds of blogposts. The ugliness towards one another is astounding to me! I have noticed that people will berate another person WITHOUT any facts! Just like joining to join. Not even knowing the person or the situation. It saddens me deeply!
Stephanie it happens to me too in a blog for parents here in Italy….. and I felt so torn apart….
A big hug.
Cheers
Maddalena
Thank you for speaking on behalf of those who feel they don’t have the courage to speak. Even though I am of the category of the “older woman teaching the younger” who happens to have younger children, The sin of envy does destroy; however, we can, together, encourage one another to live the life the Lord has called us to live. I find your blogs encouraging, inspiring, helpful, and edifying. Your blogs also gives me a pulse of what the “younger women” are doing, issues that face them, and just plain fun and cute ideas! Blessings to you for your ministry via your blog.
Boy is this a timely article. Thank you so much for your thoughts as I have been thinking these same things over the past few days.
Some one on FB put it pretty good when she said, ” I guess socializing on the internet has given people the idea that manners no longer matter.”
I’ll be passing this along. Thanks again.
Hi Stephanie –
I’m so glad you took the time to share your thoughts on social medial. As someone who is extremely new to blogging, I hadn’t really thought through the downside to comments. This is really something to consider.
As a (mostly) stay at home mom, in real life I see periodic judgment through a look or a guarded comment. Mother’s are an easy target. Just look at the not-so-comical reputation of mother-in-laws! I can only imagine what those thoughts are, but you have to read them. On behalf of stupid people everywhere, please accept this apology. They will never write in and say “Hey, I thought about what I wrote and I was wrong.” But it’s crossed their mind, at least some of them, and I hope you can forgive them. They know not what they do.
I look forward to reading your continued posts, Tammy
Great post! I completely agree with everything you said. It can be easy to be mean or hurtful when hiding behind a computer screen, but it still wounds others. We all need to remember to be kind and graceful. Thanks for sharing!
It saddens me to think that as a society we have been reduced to such self-righteous anonymous judgment of others. Social media is a blessing and a boon all at the same time. But we need to remember, what we read is our choice. If you don’t agree with what you read online, move on, stop reading the page, don’t pass on the comments that you would never in a million years say to someones face in the comment section of the post. Sheesh, it is an opinion, not someone telling you that their way is the only way, or that you are wrong in your thoughts or methods. You have the choice to accept or not accept the information being passed along. By choosing to lash out and judge in such spur of the moment judgmental rants, I think we shame ourselves and our society as a whole. If we want to live in a caring and sharing world, no matter what our faith or beliefs or views, we need to step back and think before hitting that “post comment” button. My blog has only a small following, and I don’t get a lot of comments on it, but I follow many awesome blogs like this one, and so often shake my head at the things that some commenters have the audacity to actually put to print. Even posting venom anonymously adds to the collective negativity that brings our society down instead of lifting it up. Maybe I am old school, but I still believe the old adage of “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all” rings true. Be kind with your words and thoughts, and spread positivity wherever and whenever you can, and we can all work towards making this world a better place!
I am glad you have written this. I usually do not participate in the comments sections, so I guess I don’t see this nastiness in the blogs I read. But I do see them on other forums. It is exhausting, and is one of the reasons I deleted my facebook account, never to return. I hope that this gets through to maybe one or two who have been nasty, and helps them let go of their negative emotions. Also, if you don’t agree with what an author chooses to post on her own blog, then unsubscribe. I know I have!!
Thank you for a beautifully written rebuke. Humans have so much capacity for harm to each other. So glad God does not give us all what we deserve but abundant grace and mercy. I have debated the effort of blogging for some time and have held off for the very reason you stated so eloquently…it requires growing a tough hide. I don’t have a tough hide and not all that sure that sharing my heart in such a naked forum is worth the painful risk. Ultimately, I am leaving it in God’s hands and trust that He will prompt me. If it is His will, He will provide the courage and the salve.
I would like to tell you that you have blessed and continue to bless. Consider it an offering to Our Lord when you ridiculed for His praise and for loving in His name.
I have also seen this happen, and it has sometimes happened to me. I think that as a society we have been influenced by media voices that ‘teach’ that it is funny, or at least OK, to just say whatever we are thinking, and to tear each other down. It does take an extra moment to think out our reply, to phrase it so that it expresses our thought without tearing down the person who reads it. Yet it is in those extra moments, in the careful choice of our words, that we let mercy and kindness and love rule over us, and spill over to others. We give a lot of applause these days to Random Acts of Kindness, and deservedly so, but I do wish the world would practice a little more Deliberate Acts of Kindness, too, especially in our communications with each other.
And thank you for your blogging; I have learned a lot from you posts, and appreciate the time and effort you put in to them.
Oh dear friend,
Is this ever the sad truth. Partly why I stopped blogging and why when my blog started to grow I purposely backed off. Mine wasn’t a business which made that choice easier. I started blogging to encourage and hopefully point to Christ….I so appreciate the places where people still do this inspite of all the garbage. I also just unfriend people on FB who cross the line and I do it with no regret. Just thinking out loud here.
And I know who you are in IRL….which is a women who loves Jesus and her fam with all her heart. Those naysayers can take a really long hike off a short pier. You know who you are! love ya.
Well said and I couldn’t agree more! I’ve read some of the mean and hateful comments left for bloggers and am amazed at the callousness. Thank you for sharing this post and bringing this to light.
Stephanie: thank you for being brave and posting this. I read it this morning and thought, “You know, I’ve never really had any actual mean comments/readers.” Then, I got an email later today that really hurt my feelings. I think God was preparing me by reading your words first!
And just in case anyone has been mean to you–here’s a compliment to try to outweigh it: YOU ARE FABULOUS. Your posts are helpful, non-judgemental and always timely. You are one of my regular go-to sites when I need balanced info about managing healthy living with real life and with God. THANK YOU for everything you share online!
a
Lovely and well-said, Stephanie. I think one of the most important things for us to do as mothers is to teach our children to be kind, but remind them that not everyone is. As individuals, we can only control our own actions, and we have to be emotionally mature enough to realize that not everyone will agree with our opinions and may voice their own in reply. That being said, the easiest way to stop generic online bullying is to block the offenders from commenting and restrict privacy settings, especially on Facebook.
It is important to remind people that typed words can hurt just as much as spoken ones. In response to your question about maybe we are asking for it as bloggers, I have to give you a strong no. When chatting with another woman in the line at the store I often talk about the same things I post on my blog, we just make it easier for people to be mean when we are on a computer instead of standing in front of them. Stay encouraged that there are plenty of respectful people still out there. Hopefully more people will remember; if you can’t say (or type) anything nice, don’t say it at all!
So well said, Stephanie! I couldn’t agree more. If we love the Lord and claim to be His disciple, then we need to choose to honor Him and love one another through the words we choose ? words that build and benefit the hearer (Eph 4:29). Christ says that what comes out of the mouth is what is truly in the heart (Matt 15:18). I believe much of the ugliness we see is because people are not allowing the Lord do perform heart surgery(Ezekial 36:26). Additionally, the internet lends itself to no accountability and of course the option for anonymity, which both lend themselves to people revealing what’s really going on in their hearts with little to no repercussion (at least in this life). So let’s commit to standing with the Lord … let’s fill our hearts with the love of Christ, so that our words flow forth springs of living water that refresh and revive the soul! With much love and appreciation, Kelly
Sorry you’ve had these bad experiences. I’ve only ever had a few negative comments on my blog, and I just leave them there. However, I’ve had some very horrible experiences this year with just plain meanness, and it’s been shocking and painful. I was recently attacked for using the word Christmas in Christmas party by someone who hates Christians. All we can do is be our best self and reflect God’s light. You keep doing that. I do admire women who take a moment in life to speak out and point us all back in the right direction.
I can’t recall any mean comments on blog. Ok one – about my kids’ spelling which ticked me off in angry way, I’m a mama bear, not so much a hurt way.
I am an upfront person, a skeptic by nature, and I am critical of ideas I’m unfamiliar with. Not critical, as in, you’re a bad mom, but critical as in ‘Does that really work, are you telling the whole story?” etc. (I’m reading Divergent right now and I’m totally a Candor – I’ve found my faction). As such I have been concerned about some of my comments that I’ve left on other blogs. I try to write comments that I would be comfortable saying in person to the writer. I say what I think, and sometimes question people, and though I don’t mean to be unkind I worry sometimes it is perceived that way. And so sometimes I pull back from commenting at all on people’s blogs. Or just say sweet, benign things (though I am not a “benign” type person).
However, in my own blogging world, basically the community at my blog, the relationship get kinder, deeper and more gentle (while asking probing and difficult questions) the longer I blog. I haven’t experienced the snarkiness you speak of (thank God). But I don’t spend a lot of time hanging around places where it happens.
I made a conscious decision to not venture near online gossip about bloggers etc. Maybe that’s why I don’t see it as much?
One more thought – the more real I get with people (not just pinning things or talking about my fab. vacation, but sharing my struggles) the kinder my readers are to me. My blog readers are just fabulous people. I love them (smile).
Love you. xo.
oh, yes. beautifully said!
I am trying to teach my children to be kind. I also try to practice this myself. Hopefully by doing this we can raise a new generation that will not try to hurt or use hurtful words because they may not agree with another. People that belittle are only trying to make themselves feel better. They just do not have the confidence to do it any other way. Karma will come back their way.
Thank you for writing this! What a sad world we live in that it even has to be written. I don’t understand why women are so mean and judgmental to each other. I barely have time to read all the great info on your blog and the many others I follow much less have time to email negative remarks. Do people feed convicted or inadequate when they read these blogs or see a picture of a child’s lunch? Is that why they lash out? It is beyond ridiculous. I pray that some of these folks will read your post and be convicted.
I’m not a blogger but have often felt the same just reading others’. To me it seems almost frightening, as if one comment feeds on another. You said it very well.
I just read this and remembered your post here. There’s truth and hope in these words. http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/how-the-hidden-dangers-of-comparison-are-killing-us-and-our-daughters-the-measuring-stick-principle/
Great post.
It’s too bad people don’t remember the basics we were taught as a child…. “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then keep your mouth shut”. You know? People just feel entitled to rail on others and I am not a fan of that.
I hope and pray people take your words to heart. Pray about what it is they don’t like about a person or post or whatever, and not just vomit UGLY all over the Internet and their lives. It’s hard to clean all that up anyway.
Blessings,
Emily
Oh I am so glad to see this blog post today. I have been lucky and not had any negative feedback on my blog yet. But it is still in it’s baby phase too. But I noticed just yesterday on another blog I follow that some of the comments were just terrible. I felt so bad for the person who had wrote the blog and was getting torn down for it. It’s like some people out there just go to blog just so they can tear that person down. I just don’t understand people like that.
Very well spoken and very true. Generally I find that I follow blogs of people with whom I am in general agreement, so I’m always shocked to see very mean, nasty comments under some blog posts. Some commenters obviously disagree strongly with the whole lifestyle or entire values of the blogger—my question is: what kind of mean-spirited person actively spends time seeking out people they disagree with just to say mean things to them?
I read a newspaper article shortly after the last presidential election. It stated that most people would never walk in to a room of 250 strangers and announce their political/moral beliefs and face-to-face insult all of those strangers who believed differently. Yet people do that freely on facebook, twitter, and other sites. You are correct in saying that anonymity makes people unkind. It makes them unkind and simultaneously strips away the “human-ness” of the audience, so people lose the careful and respectful way that they’d interact with others face-to-face. I think the only recourse is to continue to talk about this and bring it in to the open—to make people more aware. It won’t change everyone, but perhaps some will give pause and reflect on the reader’s feelings before they type.
We should pray for the less-than-kind commenters, that they may find peace, love, and kindness within their hearts.
Agree. We should think before we type! : ) I have some thoughts, though. Granted, I’m not a blogger, just a reader, so maybe I don’t fully know what I’m talking about?
Why do bloggers allow hateful comments? I’m a reader of one blog who has a comment policy whereby she says she will delete any comments she deems to be rude, critical, etc. Why don’t more bloggers adopt this rule? Of course, they would still see the comments or emails before deleting, so maybe that wouldn’t make a difference. But at least they could ignore it instead of responding in an equally unkind manner. It irks me when a blogger is upset and feels she has to rudely defend herself in the comment section. (No, I have not seen that on this blog.) But when someone poses a question at the end of their post, such as, “What do you think about ____?”, shouldn’t they expect opposing views to be stated? Is it wrong to disagree about an article and say so? I’m talking kindly, of course. But I’m wondering if bloggers sometimes take other’s differing opinions left in the comments as being rude. Like I said, I don’t have a blog, so I may be off in my thinking. And, yes, I have seen blatantly rude comments, and agree that they have no place.
On the flip side, why do readers keep reading a blog where they disagree with the content? I’ve “left” numerous blogs wherein I disagree with the beliefs of the writer and/or who allows rudeness(I’ve even seen cursing!) in the comments. As a reader, I have the choice to read a blog or not! There are SO many blogs out there, I personally stick to reading ones that I at least mostly agree with the views of the writers.
People who tear others down do it to cover up their own insecurities and issues. It sounds cliche but it’s just the truth. People who are confident, self assured, and happy with who they are simply do not feel a need to judge others and to share that judgement publicly. You really just need to hope for them that they are able to recognize that their personal attacks on others don’t bring them any joy, and that they will seek counseling to help them become happier and more productive human beings.
Well said! And unfortunately you can’t reach through the screen and convince each of them of this fact. There are just too many, and, well, that’s not the bloggers role anyway.
People see the world through their own lens, but seldom are aware and look at both the world and the lens they view it through. (I’m reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” for the 2nd time in a decade, if you can’t tell!)
I love this – so well worded! Some areas are things I am definitely guilty of. We have much courage behind a computer screen – with strangers and family too! This post is applicable in all online spheres, as you touched on. I’ll be sharing this in my little online Facebook community because I whole-hardly shout “amen!” behind you!
Blessings,
Nicole
WorkingKansasHomemaker.com
Such a good reminder for everyone! It saddens me to hear that this is what I can expect as I begin my own blog, but I’m thankful for the warning! 😉 We must continue to encourage ourselves in the Lord and encourage others. Thank you for this!
Thank you so much for opening our hearts to this topic. My heart is sad when I see these kind of comments, esp. on open forums.
May I share with you all the scripture that shows why it’s so important that we’re kind? For some, the “Be nice” rule perhaps is an option. But for those of us who proclaim Christ, we are called to this: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” {Eph. 4:32}, “follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another,” {Rom. 14:19} and “comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” {1 Ths. 5:11}
Hoping with so many of you that the “Be Nice Revolution” starts here. :o)
Hello Stephanie..
What a beautiful, honest post.
NO.
No… being a semi public figure as a blogger does not make you open season to unkind or malicious people.
Here’s what I decided a few years ago. This is my business and I get to do it on my terms. That’s one of the benefits to a business online so why not take advantage? You know who you are..and words can hurt.. so don’t allow unhappy people to hurt you. Cut ’em loose. Adios. Good-bye.
darlene
p.s. Just stumbled upon your blog for the first time. 🙂
Very well said! It’s sad that people can be so cruel. We all need to love, support and encourage each other in this already difficult thing called life. God bless.
Y’know, I’ve toyed with the idea of setting up my own blog; but I think it’s this exact reason that stops me. I don’t have a thick skin, and I take things entirely too much to heart. I cannot imagine what it would do to me if I had people lambasting me on a regular basis the way I’ve seen done to people on their own blogs or Facebook, heck–even on Pinterest!
You’d think we could all play a bit more nicely together. *HUGS* I am sorry you had to write this–even more sorry that it was posted because of others’ pain. I love your blog!
Very well said and such a timely reminder. I think it’s especially easy to be unkind when we feel like we or our reputation is being attacked. Funny thing is, often the other person isn’t even meaning it the way we are taking it.
Thanks for posting this!
So, so true! It’s exhausting. I’ve only had a few really mean comments but sheesh, they sting! And they are hard to ignore and let go. I see these people – even believers – who are acting on the behalf of our enemy and I have to take those thoughts they’ve provoked captive. That is NOT easy to do. I stopped reading a couple of bigger Christian bloggers because I can’t stomach the attacks. As an abuse survivor, I want to run to the defense of anyone I see being bullied and that’s not always the best thing for me. And that’s not to say I haven’t said or done stupid things online either. When someone writes something ugly, it’s all about them, and there is usually next to or no truth in what they have to say. If we have something to disagree about and we can’t do it in a nice, humane, respectful way, then we’re not doing it out of love. Thanks for talking about this subject. Each time the hate mail amps up, it’s because you’re doing something satan doesn’t want to see be successful. And THAT motivates me to pursue and push on!
Here is one thing that I have noticed and never felt comfortable responding with on a blog. I started reading blogs (I read about 2 dozen) to learn things. And then I found out that a lot of the blog posts are sponsored or the bloggers are part of a network and they HAVE to write about certain things. (Like one big network that really rubs me the wrong way).
I understand the bloggers need to make money. But the reviews of products is one thing that bugs me… and the pushing all the readers to buy things. Affiliate links, sponsored stories, etc…
I have stopped reading as many blogs lately because of this. I think that even though people say they are writing a truthful review, there is always some bias involved in writing about a product where there is a monetary exchange of some sort. It can’t be helped.
I LOVE how skilled the writers are, and I love reading about their personal struggles. It is only when they are writing about things they push on their readers makes it seem to me like they are being fake.
I wish there was a way to have more posts like this one written here — real honest perspective, and less salesy ones.. haha!! I hope no one takes offense for me sharing my perspective… and if you did, it isn’t intentional.
Rebecca, while it’s true that many blogs ARE sponsored, try to choose responsible blogs that are not swayed by their sponsors. One such is wholenewmom.com. NO, it’s not my blog; I don’t write a blog! But, watch for the disclaimers, find out WHY they have chosen the sponsor(s) and watch to see that they inform you about other choices in a non-biased manner. Many will tell you other products that work in a similar, or even better, manner. Blogs cost money. The bloggers also need to pay for their time spent on their blog; research takes massive amounts of time and energy, so YES, I believe they should be able to get some assistance.
If you are not comfortable with the products or ideas being promoted, simply stop following that particular blog. But don’t write off all sponsored blogs in one fell swoop. Aside from the one blog I mentioned (I know it’s reputable), there are several others. Check out her links on the site, and use common sense at all times when using the internet. Happy browsing!
Very well said… (((Hugs)))
I agree wholeheartedly with what you say and I appreciate that you have said something that needs to be said–and heeded.
I’d just like to point out that, even with the best of intentions, things written in cyberspace can often be misinterpreted because of imprecise/careless choice of words and because the recipient doesn’t have facial clues and body language to help them to more accurately interpret what is being said–something they do have in face-to face speech.
TRUE! Thank you! I have been told I should start a blog… But a year and a half ago I guest wrote for a blog. It was just a personal story about breastfeeding, and people called me a liar. I was in tears for almost 2 days, fell into depression and almost had a mental breakdown. What I had done had only been a natural progression of events. I had followed my instinct, researched, read and at long last found something that solved my dilemma… Then, I shared my story because I was SO happy I only wanted to share my knowledge with others. The hateful/spiteful comments were awful! And I didn’t even read the comments posted on the bloggers facebook page. I’ve been asked to write guest blog posts again, and I refuse(and if I didn’t my husband wouldn’t want me too). Since then I very rarely comment on any blog because I never want to unknowingly offend the person behind the post. The keeper of the home blog and the many blogs I’ve found through this blog have encouraged me so often. I stay at home with 3 under 3 and the wisdom, laughter, tips and spiritual reminders I receive from my sisters all over the world have kept me sane. Thank you! I wish I could hug you every time you receive a negative comment!
It is unfortunate such bullying exists however, you’re right we need to develop the mental fortitude when reaching out for companionship that the whole world is not our intimate friend; and what you present is your best foot forward and your gift to others and the universe. You can expect that to be rewarded.