A Picture of Femininity?

This morning, I made out an out-of-character choice of clothing. Despite the fact that it is a typically rainy and gray West Coast day, I looked past my shelf of pants and chose a cute, wool skirt! *gasp* What was I thinking?

Well, lately I’ve been thinking that I need to be more purposeful about dressing in a feminine manner. Now, before you all begin to think that I am suggesting that wearing skirts is the only way to be feminine (or even that it’s Biblical to wear skirts and not pants), let me be clear- I believe that as Christian women, we have the liberty to dress as we wish, provided that we still fall within the guidelines of appropriate modesty, and that we have checked our hearts and motivations in choosing our attire. Am I seeking to draw inappropriate attention to myself? Do I desire to meet a certain wordly standard, to attempt to measure up somehow? Are my choices made out of vanity, materialism, or pride? Is my end goal to glorify God or to glorify myself?

Beyond these heart motivations, though, there is a question that lingers in my mind: what does it look like to be feminine? How is that reflected in my clothing choices? I have recently begun to shift my thinking and since this past spring and summer have sought to wear either a skirt or dress more often. There are several reasons for this. My husband finds it attractive. I feel somehow more attractive, and yes, more feminine. I desire to set an example of Biblical femininity for my young daughter. What does it say when I put her in dresses and then Mommy dresses in jeans and a t-shirt?

When it comes down to it all, I don’t want my beauty and feminine appeal to be conjured up simply through my wardrobe. I greatly desire to have a beautiful spirit, above all, that marks me as a godly woman.

“Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

So many days, I feel so very far from that “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. Nonetheless, I want so badly to express my womanhood fully in both my appearance, and in my spirit.

What are you thoughts? How should we physically convey our femininity? Do you choose to wear only skirt and dresses, or do you wear a combination, and in what other ways do you seek to look feminine?

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  1. Hi!
    I just found your blog, and I think I’m going to like it 🙂 I pretty much believe just as you do on this subject of modesty. I wear both skirts and pants. For some weeks I tried to wear only skirts because I was told it was God’s will and Biblical, but I stopped because I realized I was doing it more to please others than pleasing God, and I personally did not feel Biblically convicted of it. I believe that in Christ I have the freedom to judge what is best and sometimes it is skirts like when I go to church, or at home or to a store, and sometimes it’s pants for when we go hiking or are in the snow. The only guideline I have for myself when I wear pants is to wear something (shirt,dress) that will go down to my thigh, unless it’s a ski or astronaut suit if I was ever to wear one… My husband and I have been praying about the issue, and all he asks of me is to not try to look or be like a man, and to be modest. I also don’t want the way I do things to become my faith because then I will rely more on the way I do things than on having a growing personal relationship with the Lord. I have read that when God made clothes for Adam and Eve He used the same kind of garment to cover their nakedness. I guess what made Eve feminine was that she was a woman. Besides this, I think aprons are very feminine even if you find yourself in jeans and t-shirts. 🙂 Blessings

  2. Oh I so agree with you on this one! Jimena put into words what I’ve been trying to say on other blogs about this subject. We are free in Christ and shouldn’t be pressured into dressing a certain way to please other people. I wear both dresses and trousers and like Jimena I always wear long, thigh-length tops with my trousers. I often help my husband work outside and so I need to be appropriatly dressed for the jobs in hand! It is way too easy to become legalistic about this subject and end up like the Pharisees. Thanks for a lovely blog! Love in Christ, Tina

  3. When I was a child, my mom almost always put me in jeans and overalls. I longed for dresses! I feel more comfortable, and more feminine, in long skirts and long dresses. And my husband LOVES it when I wear skirts and dresses. I don’t like to be bothered with tugging skirts down, or worrying what shows if I sit down on the floor or bend over to pick something up, so I like a long length. Wearing a skirt doesn’t hinder me when I’m gardening or working in the yard. If I’m going to go hiking, however, I will sometimes put on a pair of sturdy jeans. I prefer skirts, but I don’t feel comfortable telling someone else that my way is the only way! I do think that it is VERY important to retain our femininity, but I don’t want to get bogged down in “legalism”. Glad I found your blog! Thanks! 🙂

  4. This is my first time to blog so I have no idea what I’m doing but modesty is one of my passions!!! If you are a Christina I believe we have the responsibility to take everything back to the Lord and see what His word says about it. We have three girls and we are all told by those around how they appreciate our modesty. We live in Texas where it is hot and humid. We garden and work outdoors a lot, but remain modest. We read in Deuteronomy 22:5 That a woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God. WOW- who wants to be someone the Lord calls an abomination- Not me. We wear only skirts or dresses, all year round. Skirts and dresses are womens clothing. There was a public school in the north that had a cross dress day, the only problem they found was that there was nothing “different” for the girls to wear, they already wear boys clothing. We as women aught to be so excited that God has made us different and wants us to appear different!! He gave us long hair for our GLORY!! My husband loves the fact that his gilrs always look like girls. However, skirts can be immodest if they are tight or short. We can also search in the Word and find that it was shamefull for a woman to show her thigh. God’s word is not silent on modesty, take the time and search the whole bible to see what He says, Heb.13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” His is an unchanging God, what was once detestable to Him is still detestable to Him. Be honored to be able to show the world that feminity is not dead it is still alive in the Lord’s women.

  5. I wear only skirts and dresses for a number of reasons. I don’t however, think it’s a sin for a woman to wear pants as long as they are modest, and her motives and heart are pure.
    Reason #1- Before either my husband or I were saved I was definitely the one that “wore the pants” in our family. After being saved and battling submitting fully to him, I saw wearing skirts as an outward statement to my husband that I would no long “wear the pants.”
    Reason #2- It’s obvious from a distance a woman in a dress or skirt is a woman and you do not have ask yourself “Is that a man or a woman?”
    Reason #3- Most all the pants I had were the low hip style and were less than modest. There are modest pants but I didn’t own many.
    Reason #4- I want to be feminine in every aspect and I tend to carry myself, sit, bend over, etc., a bit differently in a skirt or dress than I do pants.
    Reason #5- At first it was an adjustment, but now I find a long flowy skirt quite comfy 🙂
    Reason #6(and the MOST important) in a Bible study I had done a while back, the Lord convicting me to do such.

  6. Hi, I just found you in a search for Christian Frugality–I like the site! I wanted to say that I like your take on modesty. I myself have few skrts and dresses, simply due to the place we live. My family lives on 10 acres on a mountain in Southeastern Oklahoma, and we are really working to clear land and build a home. My work finds me filthy by the end of most days, so cowboy boots, jeans and t-shirts are the best ensemble I can wear. However, I do strive to be as feminine as possible while wearing them, and let me tell you, that is not easy when you get knocked into a pile of manure just seconds before hubby drives up!
    We attend a cowboy church, and most of the women wear jeans and nice tops. As I said, I have a few dresses and skirts, but they are mostly for funerals or really special occassions out with hubby.

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